Um, Bobby Bennett? Those things you’re singing are called notes. Each one is supposed to sound different than the others. And the song you’re singing, “Copacabana”? It comes in a key, which means you sing specific notes. When Barry Manilow sings it, it is swingy and smooth. Your voice is all over the place, and your breathing is all wrong. Smooth? Not so much.

Simon is asking you if you think the people watching the show are wondering if he, Paula and Randy are “off their rockers”. Yes, I do. This guy can not sing. Period.

And Ryan Seacrest? I’m getting tired of this guy. He just told Simon to stop being negative and give Bobby some “constructive criticism”. Tell you what, Ryan. You stick to what you know, hair-care products and shameless self-promotion, and let Simon do the judging, ‘kay? Thanks.

This is Ace Young. Okay, his name is Ace, which is fairly cheesy, but he just sang George Michaels’ “Father Figure” in a breathy sexy voice and oh, baby. Mmm…mmm….mmm
Me likey.

Chris Daughtry sang the heck out of “Wanted:Dead or Alive”. Will Makar and Kevin Covais were also good. I know everybody loves silver-haired Taylor Hicks, but I thought his rendition of “Levon” was less than great. Of course, he’s the one Simon loves the best.

I tried to call and vote for Ace but the lines are busy. I can’t believe I called a reality show. Did I mention I actually watched an episode of “Flavor of Love” on VH1? Flavor Flav took two women to a Palm Springs spa, one of whom said “Yoga? What’s Yoga?”. Then they painted each other with mud, got into the shower together, met for dinner, and then one of the women slipped him a love note that got her invited to Flav’s room for some (ahem) personal time. What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I watch this? I need help.