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About Table for Five:
First there was me and my husband, and then there were two wonderful sons. And then there was a new baby coming! One day, we walked into a restaurant, and the waitress asked how many? I said, table for four, please. Then I turned to my husband and said, when the baby comes, we'll need to ask for a table for five. And the rest, as they say, is history. I hope you enjoy my posts, reviews, photos, and giveaways!
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Um, Bobby Bennett? Those things you’re singing are called notes. Each one is supposed to sound different than the others. And the song you’re singing, “Copacabana”? It comes in a key, which means you sing specific notes. When Barry Manilow sings it, it is swingy and smooth. Your voice is all over the place, and your breathing is all wrong. Smooth? Not so much.
Simon is asking you if you think the people watching the show are wondering if he, Paula and Randy are “off their rockers”. Yes, I do. This guy can not sing. Period.
And Ryan Seacrest? I’m getting tired of this guy. He just told Simon to stop being negative and give Bobby some “constructive criticism”. Tell you what, Ryan. You stick to what you know, hair-care products and shameless self-promotion, and let Simon do the judging, ‘kay? Thanks.
This is Ace Young. Okay, his name is Ace, which is fairly cheesy, but he just sang George Michaels’ “Father Figure” in a breathy sexy voice and oh, baby. Mmm…mmm….mmm
Me likey.
Chris Daughtry sang the heck out of “Wanted:Dead or Alive”. Will Makar and Kevin Covais were also good. I know everybody loves silver-haired Taylor Hicks, but I thought his rendition of “Levon” was less than great. Of course, he’s the one Simon loves the best.
I tried to call and vote for Ace but the lines are busy. I can’t believe I called a reality show. Did I mention I actually watched an episode of “Flavor of Love” on VH1? Flavor Flav took two women to a Palm Springs spa, one of whom said “Yoga? What’s Yoga?”. Then they painted each other with mud, got into the shower together, met for dinner, and then one of the women slipped him a love note that got her invited to Flav’s room for some (ahem) personal time. What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I watch this? I need help.
I’ve had so many compliments about my sidebar, I just have to give credit where credit is due. It has taken a frickin’ village to get those thumbnail pictures on there. It started with a comment I left Mrs. Harridan (of “Mean Girl To The Rescue”, and she rescued me all right and not a trace of meanness either!), followed by an email from Tigerlily containing the source code I needed, and then an email from Mrs. Harridan who asked Mama Tulip and her husband Spiderweed for suggestions, and finished with my husband who put it all together and helped me actually get it posted. Whew! I’ve said it before, this is what I love about the Internet. You reach out to strangers, who may only have corresponded with you in blog comments or emails, (or not at all in the case of Mama Tulip’s husband), and they help you. I only hope I can return the favor to all these nice people someday.
Also, I am not reading all three of those books at once, those are just the last three I’ve read. I changed the title of the section to ‘Recent Reading’ to clarify. If I could figure out how to make the text smaller, I could post more books as I read them, but that’s another project
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I wasn’t ignoring your comments and emails this weekend, I just didn’t turn my laptop on at all. Instead I did laundry and visited family and caught up on sleep. The only computer related thing I did this weekend was laugh hysterically at the flash files on albinoblacksheep.com. The same site that brought us “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” also has “The Llama Song” and this:
What does A & W stand for? Why, Amburgers & Wootbeer, of course.
Thanks so much to everybody who commented on yesterday’s post. It helps to know you’re not alone, that other mothers are struggling just like you are. And letting their kids watch TV. Several of you mentioned Sesame Street, which I am all for, except it’s an hour long and neither of my boys could ever sit still that long. But it would be cool if Kaitlyn started speaking Spanish (what’s Spanish for “feed me now and make it snappy”?) so maybe in a few years. Also, guess what’s out on DVD? The Electric Company! I looooooved that show when I was a kid! I remember in second grade, which was 197_ (never mind), our class would get to watch it at recess on rainy days. I still remember the song that taught the pronounciation of T-I-O-N: “T-I-O-N Shun shun shun shun!”
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And now, a thought I had that doesn’t really have anything to do with TV, but is more my take on a post I read about stay-at-home-moms.
Some people might be “jealous” of stay-at-home-moms, but I think the real heroes are moms who work full time. In fact, I think most of my readers are working moms, who actually work TWO full time jobs, one at an office and another when they get home. ‘Cause let’s face it, no matter how great your husband is, you don’t just shut off when you get home, right? You still have to help with dinner, dishes, homework, baths, pajamas, stories, tucking into bed. Except you do it after a full day at the office, possibly even with mean bosses that suck. I’m so lucky that my “boss” is a 3 month old who never corrects my spelling or lets other people take credit for my work.
Except that even the meanest bosses and coworkers don’t snuggle up to you and then spit up old, chunky formula on your shoulder. Hopefully.
Edited to add: I realize as I re-read this that the sentence “most of my readers are working moms” is an exaggeration, and in no way is intended to hurt the feelings of any of my readers who aren’t working, or aren’t moms. This blog is for everyone! Sorry for sticking my foot in my mouth there.
Today I officially began the process of rotting my daughter’s brain. That’s right, my 13-week old daughter was babysat for a few minutes by the TV today. And you know what? I don’t feel one bit guilty about it! Okay, maybe a little guilty, or I wouldn’t be confessing to the Internets and looking for some validation. Here’s what happened:
1:45 pm It is the middle of our day. Kaitlyn has had 3 bottles, 3 diaper changes and one nap. I have had two cups of coffee, two pieces of toast with jam and am thinking it’s been almost 5 hours since I had that. Lunch would be nice today. Also, the pitcher of Similac is almost empty. What to do? The TV has been off most of the day due to the snow and ice obscuring the satellite signal from reaching my DirecTV dish. When it comes back on it is tuned to the SciFi channel and a show called “First Wave”. It’s about a man who uses Nostradamus’ prophecies to search out the supposed secret alien plot to invade Earth. A girl who has been humiliated Carrie-style has just caused a boy to spontaneously combust. Just by looking at him. Um, huh?
But back to the brain-rotting. Kaitlyn has been sort of reclining on my left arm, making cute goo-goo sounds and being generally adorable. But then she starts straining to sit up, bobbing her head back and forth and saying “eh..eh..GEH” which translates to “hey, I can’t see the TV!” So I sit her up, she looks right at the TV and busts out a beatific smile. Hmmm…So here’s the part where you should call Child Services, because I am obviously a selfish, neglectful mother. I place her in the bouncy seat, set her about 3 feet from the TV, and look for an appropriate show for her to “watch”. The best I can come up with is “Miffy and Friends”. I go to the kitchen and quickly throw together a sandwich and make the formula. As I’m doing this I’m listening to the TV. Kaitlyn isn’t fussing, she must like it.
Now I don’t know anything at all about how TV shows are created, but I suspect that people with experience in child research have something to do with children’s programming. I’m sure they have done studies that influence the speed at which the announcer lady talks, her soft, melodic tone of voice, the important lesson learned by Miffy and her friends in each episode. Plus, the show is based on the books of Dick Bruna who writes and illustrates the most lovely children’s books. I grew up with “Tom Thumb” and “The Egg”, both of which appear to be out of print. I’d never even heard of Miffy until Mervyn’s started selling the stuffed toys.
Anyway, so I put Kaitlyn in front of the TV today. And she didn’t mind. I never understood moms that had babysitters that came even when the mom was home, or when I read about someone having a nanny. I didn’t understand until my mother-in-law came to stay with us. Once she had recovered from her surgery, but still wasn’t allowed to drive herself back home, she wanted to help me around the house. I still remember when we were planning her stay and she said “I’ll help you with the baby” and I said NO! I assured her I was used to taking care of the baby during the day and didn’t need any help. And then one day, when I was trying to help the boys with homework and start dinner and feed Kaitlyn, I sheepishly asked her if she would mind giving Kaitlyn her bottle. I felt guilty asking! But it was such a HUGE relief to hand her over and be able to do other things. After that I had no problem asking MIL to help. Now it’s just Kaitlyn and me again, from 8:15 am to 3:45 when the boys get home, and it’s not always easy.
It’s 2:30 pm and “Maisy” is on. She seems to like that, too.
So yesterday I’m visiting Nathan’s first grade classroom and I’m wandering around looking at things while the kids get ready to leave. As a devoted lover of childrens’ books I’m particularly interested in the plastic bins of books on the bookshelves, each labelled by author. My eye falls on the bin of Dr. Seuss, only something is wrong. I slide the bin out and hold it up in front of my face. I’m scowling at it, I know something is wrong, what is it? I try not to gasp out loud as I realize what it is. The label on the bin says “Dr. Suess”. S-U-E-S-S instead of S-E-U-S-S. I pick up the topmost book and check the author credit just to make sure I haven’t been spelling it wrong all these years. Nope.
It only took me a fraction of a second to decide that pointing it out to the teacher would just be awkward. “Oh, ha ha Mrs. B, Seuss is spelled wrong on this label! Ha, ha!” So the question is, do I tell her? Maybe that bin of books has been there since before she got that classroom and she just never noticed. But I know it’s going to drive me crazy just knowing it’s there, and it’s wrong.