And not the good kind of fermented, like the Hard Cider I drank in pubs all over London as a college student on Overseas Study.
The kind of fermented that happens when you leave a pitcher of reconstituted Minute Maid Pulp-Free in the back of the refrigerator for two months, then pull it out in a weak attempt to get a serving of fruit with your scrambled egg and bacon breakfast. And then your son takes a sip and says, “this juice tastes sour”, and you’re thinking he only thinks it’s sour because it’s not as sweet as, say, chocolate milk.
And then you take a sip which you immediately spit out into the sink while simultaneously dumping out your glass, then you whirl around and grab the glass sitting in front of your son and dump that down the sink. You peer anxiously at his face, praying that it doesn’t turn green, asking him “how much did you drink?” and wondering how fast you can find the number for Poison Control.
NOTE TO SELF: Don’t leave orange juice in the fridge for two months. It’s barely a fruit serving anyway, what with the lack of fiber and all. Stick to chocolate milk. You always smell milk first before pouring it, so there’s little chance of drinking it after it spoils. Plus, chocolate milk never lasts that long at the rate your family drinks it.
My poor son.