If there is one thing that is obvious about me to anyone who knows me at all, it is that I am not a spontaneous person. I am a planner. I like to know what is going to happen today, tomorrow, next week. Not to the extent that I plan out every day in minute detail, but for the most part I want to have an idea of what is coming.

Therefore, when life throws me a curve, like it did with the death of my MIL, it wreaks all kinds of havoc in my life. Obviously, except in rare cases, no one ever knows ahead of time that someone is going to die. And I am NOT whining about all the things that need to be done, all the dozens of phone calls that need to be made and people that need to be contacted. That is what I do when someone is sick or in need, I sweat the details.

What I don’t like is the amount of pressure I put on myself and the resulting stress. All week I have been grouchy, irritated, snapping at the kids and my husband and even the dog, for no good reason except that I feel out of sorts. Yesterday, for example, there was a skunk walking down the street in front of my house, and like an idiot I said to the boys “oh look, a skunk”, and opened the front door for them to see. What do you think happened?

The dog practically knocked me on my ass running out the front door, ran like his tail was on fire down the street, and then, you guessed it, got sprayed right in the face. I’m sure my neighbors really appreciated me screaming “ELVIS! NO! NO! STOP!” at 9:00 in the morning. I knew exactly what was going to happen and was powerless to stop it. So now, my dog smells like skunk and Nature’s Miracle Skunk Odor Remover Shampoo, which is a ghastly smell indeed.

I went out all by myself for a while tonight, and decided I needed a Frappuccino, even if it means going to BlogHer weighing 172 pounds and not 142 like I wanted. The only Starbucks in town is located inside a Barnes and Noble, so it’s like a Crack Den with extra Crack. I spent way too much time there. I always feel like somewhere on the shelves is THE book, the one with all the answers to all the problems in my life-the perfect housekeeping system, the perfect diet or exercise plan, the perfect…something. Instead of the perfect book, I found twenty dollars in my wallet that I was planning to spend on a bath for the dog at PetSmart, only the nice ladies at the grooming salon sprayed him with de-skunkifier for free (thanks, ladies, you rock!). So, I spent that twenty, on Frappuccino AND a chocolate chunk brownie, full of fat, sugar and carbs, plus Vanity Fair with Sandra Bullock on the cover (I want her hair, NOW), and a book of Logic puzzles for weekend escape/diversion.

Thus, there was light at the end of the tunnel. I’m going to try to remember to breathe at least a little deeply, and to not let this change in my routine be such a big crisis. I know everything will get done, and life will eventually go on as planned. You know what would really help? Comments. Please, delurk and tell me your suggestions for not going completely batshit crazy. And please tell me it’s okay to go to BlogHer exactly as I am.

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