You’ve heard about what’s happening next week, right? This little shindig I’m going to in San Jose, where I will panic over my crappy clothes, my streaky sunless tan (CURSE YOU, Dove Energy Glow!), and my annoying personal habits.

What? You mean you LIKE people who talk waaaay too much, interrupt constantly, and have a social phobia about looking people directly in the eyes? Then you’ll love me.

I only have about a frillion things to do before I leave. Things that I should be doing now, instead of swilling coffee and checking email and um, writing this post. Procrastination, thy name is Elizabeth!

My first order of business is to gather together all the stuff I think I want to take, and then put half of it back. When I travel, I always think I will need stuff I never even use at home, like two kinds of body lotion (they have little bottles of lotion in hotels!), way more makeup than I ever wear in real life, and my smooshy pillow. I know, I can’t bring a pillow. And housekeeping will be happy to bring extra pillows, even if they have been slept on by god-knows-who with god-knows-what kind of hygiene.

My wonderful hubby has just finished rebuilding a laptop for me, with Wi-Fi and everything, although we couldn’t get it working at the hotel we stayed in a few weeks ago. Even though there was a sign on the dresser that said “Free high-speed wireless Internet access!” Yeah, not so much. You may find me skulking around in the lobby looking for someone who looks like they know how to get a wireless connection working.

I went shopping last weekend, at one of those Kohl’s 50-70% off sales that they have every week, and bought new stuff. Like BRAS! And not the kind that come in a cardboard box with a picture of a stoned-looking lady on the cover either, REAL bras. The kind that cost $40 each, except these were $20 so I bought two. Do you know how long it’s been since I had two bras that fit really well?  I did have to buy underwire, because let’s face it, the girls were riding below the crook of my elbows. Now they are lifted, and separated, and they’re real, and they’re fabulous!

Ahem. I also bought new jammies, and new cropped jeans, and cute new sandals to show off my pedicure. Sandals with wedge heels, so I will appear several inches taller, and won’t be staring you all directly in the boobs as I shake your hands. Well, I might stare at your boobs anyway, but only because you know you want me to (wink wink). Ooh, and the sandals even have that thing that goes between your toe, which I KNOW I said I would never buy, but they are comfortable! Who knew? Apparently everyone else but me.

I bought a refill for my Day-Timer, which will serve as my address book, business-card holder, boarding pass holder, and wallet. I even talked the lady at Office Max into giving me a discount on it, since I know they need to move out the 2006 refills and make room for 2007. It was only about $4.00 off, but still. I also bought software and paper to make business cards, so that I don’t have to write my URL and email address directly onto people.

I’m still undecided about what to use for a carry-on bag, and what size purse to bring. I bought a cute little tote at Kohl’s, but the laptop won’t fit in it. I may end up using one of Chris’ ugly black nylon laptop cases, plus a small purse. I know, why carry a purse at all? Because I’ve been carrying a purse every day since the sixth grade, and I feel like I’m missing a limb if I don’t. And my lips might start to hurt real bad, which means an immediate coating of Moisture Therapy Lip Balm, because I don’t want to use the community chapstick, now do I?

You know what else I need to to before Thursday? CLEAN THE DAMN HOUSE. I hate coming home from vacation to a messy house. And I know Chris will be here, but he will be otherwise preoccupied with parenting our children and oh yeah, did I mention his Dad is having MAJOR SURGERY that day? I called him, my FIL that is, and told him I wouldn’t go, because I didn’t want him thinking I didn’t care about him and went jetting off to the Coast while he laid in a hospital bed. No, he said, GO.

So that’s just a few of the things I need to do before I leave. What about you? What’s on your to-do list?

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