While I work on getting this blog ready, I’m revisiting some of my favorite posts from my archives. I wrote this one last September. The underlying story is that my diagonally-across-the-street neighbor has a daughter Nathan’s age, and my directly-across-the-street neighbor also has a daughter their age. When we first moved in the summer before last, Nathan wanted to spend all day playing with either or both of them.
However, diagonal neighbor child “O” turned out to be quite the Alpha Female. She wanted to control all aspects of play and even communication. Read the post to find out what happened next…
It is now 12 months later, and despite the aforementioned letter of apology, diagonal neighbor still treats my whole family like parasites. She begrudgingly allows “O” to play with Nathan if they are at someone else’s house, but he is not allowed at her house. All last school year, when we dropped off our children at school, she would actually cross the street if I was behind her on the sidewalk. At the Christmas party, Nathan and “O” sat next to each other at the decorate things with glue and glitter table, and she kept an absolute blank stare on her face the whole time. Even though I gave her a little wave and said “Hi, (neighbor)!”
Logically, I know that it’s unrealistic to expect everyone I meet to like me. Do I find it odd that a fellow late-thirties SAHM wants nothing to do with me? You bet. But she has made up her mind, and if that’s all it was, I would be fine with it. It’s the fact that she chooses to project such vitriolic anger at me, glare at me, cross the street to avoid me. I don’t understand why anyone would choose to waste time and energy on hating someone.
In every house I lived in as a child, my parents hung a large framed painting of “The Golden Rule”. It showed a dozen or so people of all different races and nationalities standing closely together. I have tried to live by that Rule my whole life. My Golden Rule of BloggingTM is, Comment unto others as you would have them Comment unto you. My neighbor, if she were a blogger (goddess forbid!), would be the kind of blogger that would leave hate-filled comments, argue with other commenters, and always post as “Anonymous”. I will never, EVER understand why anyone would choose to waste their time and energy on hate for another person.
Nathan and “O” are in the same class this year. I will be volunteering for class parties and field trips, which might involve occupying the same space as Hater-Neighbor. I will smile politely and say hello. If she wants to turn her face away from me, that’s up to her. I won’t play her game, and I won’t give her the satisfaction of thinking that she “gets” to me. My son will be my priority in those situations, not her.
It’s too bad for her. I’m a good neighbor, and I’m a really good friend. It’s her loss.