-
About Table for Five:
First there was me and my husband, and then there were two wonderful sons. And then there was a new baby coming! One day, we walked into a restaurant, and the waitress asked how many? I said, table for four, please. Then I turned to my husband and said, when the baby comes, we'll need to ask for a table for five. And the rest, as they say, is history. I hope you enjoy my posts, reviews, photos, and giveaways!
Subscribe in a reader
Get my posts delivered right to your email inbox!:Delivered by FeedBurner
While I work on getting this blog ready, I’m revisiting some of my favorite posts from my archives. I wrote this one last September. The underlying story is that my diagonally-across-the-street neighbor has a daughter Nathan’s age, and my directly-across-the-street neighbor also has a daughter their age. When we first moved in the summer before last, Nathan wanted to spend all day playing with either or both of them.
However, diagonal neighbor child “O” turned out to be quite the Alpha Female. She wanted to control all aspects of play and even communication. Read the post to find out what happened next…
It is now 12 months later, and despite the aforementioned letter of apology, diagonal neighbor still treats my whole family like parasites. She begrudgingly allows “O” to play with Nathan if they are at someone else’s house, but he is not allowed at her house. All last school year, when we dropped off our children at school, she would actually cross the street if I was behind her on the sidewalk. At the Christmas party, Nathan and “O” sat next to each other at the decorate things with glue and glitter table, and she kept an absolute blank stare on her face the whole time. Even though I gave her a little wave and said “Hi, (neighbor)!”
Logically, I know that it’s unrealistic to expect everyone I meet to like me. Do I find it odd that a fellow late-thirties SAHM wants nothing to do with me? You bet. But she has made up her mind, and if that’s all it was, I would be fine with it. It’s the fact that she chooses to project such vitriolic anger at me, glare at me, cross the street to avoid me. I don’t understand why anyone would choose to waste time and energy on hating someone.
In every house I lived in as a child, my parents hung a large framed painting of “The Golden Rule”. It showed a dozen or so people of all different races and nationalities standing closely together. I have tried to live by that Rule my whole life. My Golden Rule of BloggingTM is, Comment unto others as you would have them Comment unto you. My neighbor, if she were a blogger (goddess forbid!), would be the kind of blogger that would leave hate-filled comments, argue with other commenters, and always post as “Anonymous”. I will never, EVER understand why anyone would choose to waste their time and energy on hate for another person.
Nathan and “O” are in the same class this year. I will be volunteering for class parties and field trips, which might involve occupying the same space as Hater-Neighbor. I will smile politely and say hello. If she wants to turn her face away from me, that’s up to her. I won’t play her game, and I won’t give her the satisfaction of thinking that she “gets” to me. My son will be my priority in those situations, not her.
It’s too bad for her. I’m a good neighbor, and I’m a really good friend. It’s her loss.
Comments
Kill her with kindness! It will either break down her shield of evil or drive her crazy.
That’s exactly what I’m planning to do. “Shield of evil”-that’s good!
How can someone that age act like such a child? Who had the energy for that?
(Love the new place.)
Yes, Izzy’s right–kill her with kindness! She won’t know what hit her!
BTW, Izzy and Elizabeth, the new blog design is fabulous!
Love the new site.
Love the design.
Do you mind if I ask who you are web hosting through?
I’m still searching for the best platform. The pros/cons of who to pick are driving me insane.
Thanks! JJ
Ah, that woman’s not worth your time. And sounds like her daughter’s an apple that didn’t fall far from the tree…
Your new design looks FABULOUS. Kudos to you and to Izzy!
Oh my gosh Nancy! I forgot to credit YOU for the table graphic! Hey, everybody, Nancy drew the table! And it is awesome!
It really is her loss.
By the by, the new site looks great! Very fresh and bright.
My mom always used to say, “You kill more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”
And dammit, she’s right.
The site looks GREAT, Elizabeth! Kudos to Nancy and Izzy…their skills amaze me. 
The new site kicks ass! Love it.
You said it though, it’s her loss.
You just have to feel bad for someone who wastes so much energy on being a bitch! So dumb.
Treat her like she is a cat. Ignore her and she will eventually crawl over and purr at you.
Or ask : “Are you unwell?” when me makes her ridiculous gas face. Then yell that you are keeping it fake!!
You sound like you have it all under control. The new blog looks fabulous! Great job to everyone involved! Congrats on your own domain!
Karen
Love the new site.
My neighbor up at Mr. Stapler’s was the same way…I took him his paper, which was in our driveway, and he just snatched it from me without saying anything. I figure he is a sad person determined to be sad..
I agree with the rest of your commenters, take the high road and be the person you are normally. Which is to say, a polite, friendly woman. If she doesn’t like it she can look like an ass when she ignores you.
The site looks fantastic! I love how it’s shaping up.
I remember the original post, and I find it really sad that this woman and her child are still behaving so poorly. It’s especially sad how she has taught her daughter to act.
You and Nathan are better off without these people as friends.
Why don’t you send her an anniversary card?
Sounds like you’re handling it very well already. Be the bigger person, the bigger mom.
(And - looooove the new look!)
Your new design rocks, Elizabeth!! Izzy and Nancy did a great job. Congratulations!
What a pain in the ass. I have no patience for those kinds of people - you’re handling it exceptionally, and like an adult.
I’m so immature I would have to leave the bag of flaming dog poop on the doorstep, or disguise my voice and order twenty-five pizzas to be delivered to their house. Thank God my husband is normal and would stop me.
(Love the new site! I’m so behind the times - I still am linked to your old page, and kept wondering why you hadn’t posted since July 18th.)
I run into this a lot since we had a SAHD and our kids don’t play outside the home a lot. Some people just think that asshole behavior is “normal child” behavior.
That being socially aggressive and displaying bad manners is just “them exploring their boundaries.”
I wish I was your neighbor. I’d spank my kids butts in view of her living room window so she could get a look at someone redefining their child’s boundaries.
And then we could have coffee.
I really like Dawn’s comment of asking her “are you unwell?” - becausae I can totally “hear” dawn saying that. Now I can’t stop laughing.
If you do get the guts to say that in teh scenario she’s provided, you must tell us.
“are you unwell”…man, I cribbin that.
[...] My across-the-street neighbor, whom I have not seen at the kids’ school and therefore have not had a chance to wave cheerfully at and ask if she has gas, is absolutely anal-retentive about her lawn. She mows her grass twice a week, and every single afternoon she sweeps her entire driveway, the sidewalk in front of her house, and the STREET in front of her house. And picks up leaves individually by hand. Although it’s fun to watch while I’m doing dishes, she needs to cut that shit out and quit making the rest of us look like slackers. My kids’ school has started fundraising already. We have this town here in Michigan called Frankenmuth, which I wrote about last Fall when some friends got married there. In addition to the world’s largest Christmas store, Frankenmuth also has cheese, coffee, candy and fudge shops, and they combine all of it into a huge school fundraising business. An 8 ounce container of Cheese spread for $8.50, 9 pieces of chocolate for $11.50? It’s ridiculous. But it’s also how the P.T.O. pays for field trips and classroom equipment and school activities, so I feel like I have to make at least a half-hearted effort. I’m giving Chris the order form to take to work. [...]
fioricet and blood work…
news…
Comments protected by Lucia's Linky Love.