Sign you might be about to get a bad haircut:

You go to a chain haircut place whose name sounds like “Craptastic Pam’s”. Your “stylist” is named Misti Kaye, and she is a six foot tall bleached blonde with her hair gathered up into two little buns on either side of her head. You tell her you’re trying to grow your hair out and could she just trim the bottom and the layers on the side a little. Her response is “OH, I know just what haircut to give you! I’ve had TWELVE YEARS of hair experience and you are going to look great! TWELVE YEARS, you’ll look great! OH, you look great!”

You do not look great. You look like your hair was gnawed off by a beaver.

Sign you might need to step up the diet and exercise program:

Your husband comes out of the bedroom and asks you if you think his jeans shrunk in the wash. He is wearing your jeans. He is a foot taller than you, but only weighs about 40 pounds more than you. Your jeans fit him through the waist and hips.

You tell him, those are my jeans, and now I feel like a big fatass.

Sign you might have jumped on board the proverbial bandwagon:

You start a new blog, called True Diet Confessions. You invite everyone to email you their confessions at truedietconfession@hotmail.com. You hope people will come there and confess to what they’re eating so you don’t feel so alone. You also hope to use the new blog as a way to keep yourself on track with your diet. You pick blogspot over Wordpress because Miss Zoot has a pretty blog design that you love.

So come to True Diet Confessions and help me not feel like the only person who struggles every day to stay on track and just lose some damn weight, already.

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 I had the weirdest night’s sleep last night. I got in bed at 9:30-which is practically the middle of the afternoon for me-and I was freezing. Have you ever been so cold that it’s painful? Like that. I huddled under the sheet and blanket and listened to a meditation CD to get myself relaxed enough to sleep.

I alternated between freezing and burning. Under the sheet and blanket I felt like I was in an oven, yet I continued to shiver. Chris came in at one point, put his hand on my forehead, and then came back with two Tylenol and a huge cup of water. I slipped back down into sleep, and dreamed that Chris and I were in a hotel on vacation. The housekeeper had moved all of our belongings into an empty store room, and I was picking through the pile deciding what to keep. Hmmmmm.

When I woke up this morning, my stomach didn’t hurt anymore. As I was getting into the shower I caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror, and my neck and chest were bright red. It could have been from laying on my stomach at one point, but more likely it’s from sweating out toxins in my sleep. I know that’s gross, but it’s what happens. I once took a class on an exercise program called T-Tapp, which engages your lymphatic system as you move, and after doing a particular exercise one of my arms turned bright red from the draining of the toxins.

Okay, I know, enough. Suffice it to say I think I’m getting better. Thank you everyone who commented and emailed me with your concerns and suggestions. Interesting how many of us are on antidepressants, isn’t it? I’m going back to bed to lay down while Kaitlyn takes her nap now.

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Right after the coffeemaker incident, I decided it was time to start up my antidepressant regime for the year. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, which means I’m okay during Spring and Summer when the sun is shining brightly, but Fall and Winter are like having a heavy blanket thrown over my head. I lose all interest in doing pretty much anything, I feel sad, lose my sense of humor.

I have taken Prozac, which worked but left me with absolutely no sex drive whatsoever. I took Paxil, Zoloft and Serzone. My husband’s former employer liked to switch insurance companies every few years, so what I could take often depended on what was covered.

We finally settled on Wellbutrin because there were no sexual side effects. Meaning my lady parts didn’t feel completely numb, so yay for that. I started on 75 mg. once a day, then twice a day. But a few years ago that wasn’t enough anymore, so I went on Wellbutrin XL, whixh is 300 mg. once a day. It worked.

Jump ahead now, to the week after the coffeemaker incident. I knew it was time to start up the Wellbutrin again. The cold, dark months of Winter are right around the corner, and it can take two to four weeks for the medicine to take full effect. So I started taking one pill every morning.

A few days later, I noticed I feel queasy, almost nauseous. I wondered if I’d caught a little stomach bug. Days go on, still queasy. My period started, with a week of painful cramps first, then heavy, heavy bleeding for five days. I thought, well I know I’m not pregnant. But still, queasy.

Then, one day last week I was standing in Blockbuster picking out a DVD and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t take a deep breath. I pulled air into my diaphragm and then into my lungs, but it still didn’t feel like enough. I can’t breathe, I thought. And the more I thought about not being able to breathe, the harder it became to breathe. I started to feel a little light-headed.

I thought I was going to hyperventilate right there in Blockbuster.

A few minutes later, the feeling passed. I didn’t say anything to Chris because it was so weird, and probably nothing. The next day, while folding laundry, I suddenly felt again like I couldn’t take a deep breath. Again, I started pulling air in as deliberately as possible, but the more I tried to breathe deeply, the harder it was. I told myself I am breathing, everything is fine.

I Googled “Anxiety Attacks”. Jesus.

Now why would I be constantly queasy and having anxiety attacks? Why would I actually be considering giving up coffee because I feel so jittery and keyed up?

I think my gods, what if I’m pregnant? I shouldn’t be pregnant because a.)I just had a period and b.)hello, tubal ligation. But I could be one of those 2% of women who get pregnant anyway, right? And some women have periods while pregnant, or so I’ve heard.

I start to panic a little more. I think I’m going to have to tell the Internets that I’m pregnant, that I have to terminate an ectopic pregnancy because it could kill me. This is not helping the anxiety level one bit.

I finally tell Chris, I don’t feel good. I feel queasy and jittery and like I can’t breathe, and it’s been going on for almost two weeks. He gives me that look he gets when he is deeply concerned yet resisting the urge to call me a dumbass for letting something go so long without asking for help. Call the Doctor, he says.

I say no, what’s a Doctor going to do? I’ll go in and say I don’t feeeel good, what can I expect them to say to that? As we’re standing there hugging in the kitchen, my eyes lock on to the bottle of Wellbutrin, which I keep in a *ahem*safe*ahem* place on top of the microwave. A-HA, I think.

Sure enough, one Google search tells me that the most common side effects of Wellbutrin XL are NAUSEA, ANXIETY, and FEELING JITTERY. Ding ding ding!

So to recap: not pregnant. Not giving up coffee. Still queasy, but expecting it to dissipate once the Wellbutrin gets out of my system. And not so sure what I want to do about an antidepressant this year. I’m considering trying to heal my body naturally in some way, with diet and exercise and probably handfuls of vitamins. And light box, which I’m sure I can get Chris to build.

Whew. Side effects, man. Next time, I’ll be sure to read the pamphlet that came with the prescription, the one with all the warnings on it.

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Panchero’s-the sign in the window of both East Lansing restaurants says “home of the one-pound burrito”.

The tortilla they use for the burritos and quesadillas is cooked in a tortilla press the size of a spare tire. When it’s made, especially if you get it with everything, the burrito is about the size of a baby’s head.

I once watched an MSU football player give up before he could eat the whole thing.

Looking at the locations map, it seems to have started with Michigan and spread west to Wisconsin and Illinois, Minnesota and Iowa, then South Dakota, Nebraska and Colorado. And then Florida, which I have to assume is so that the snowbirds have somewhere familiar to eat when they winter there.

I’ll be ordering the chicken tacos, or make that the “Margarita Lime Chicken” with the “Cilantro Lime Rice”. And salsa so good you want them to put it in a cup so you can drink it.

Oh yeah, and dining with GingaJoy, which is really the best part. The rest is just food.

Damn good food though.

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I’ve been debating about whether or not it’s okay to write a new post, because I don’t want to diminish the importance of yesterday. If you came here looking for my 2,996 Tribute Post, PLEASE scroll down to the post below this one. If you wrote a tribute, please leave the link in my comments.

I’ve also been waiting to show the photographic evidence of just how my husband lost his dang mind last week, and went hog-wild at Best Buy. He came into a small inheritance, and after taking care of bills and property taxes, he decided to embrace his inner geek and treat himself (well, and us too) to a new TV and home theater. And an Xbox 360, because our “old” Xbox was wearing out. There were WHOLE MAPS on “Halo 2″ that didn’t even work. It was a real problem, I tell you. We really did need a new TV, ours was pretty old and the color and sound were going, and our stereo system was ancient.

So, first we went to Best Buy. I took my camera because I knew I was going to get a good post out of this.

Then Chris picked out his home theater system.

And finally, the piece de resistance, the 42″ Flat Screen TV.

And this morning, Kaitlyn marvelled at the  “Ralph’s World”  characters who looked almost as big as her.

Chris says there’s a way to hook up the laptop to the TV. So I could read all of your blogs on a 42″ screen! I could do a gallery of photos-see your blog on the big screen! Oh, I am so doing that.

More to come this week-tomorrow I am having an eye exam and picking out some new glasses, suggestions on a style would be welcome. These cheap-ass Wal-Mart glasses I’m wearing now are so scratched up, I can actually see better without them.

And Friday, I am having lunch with GingaJoy! Mmmm, Panchero’s, home of the One-Pound burrito.

Hope everyone has a good week. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNSTER!!!!

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