The year Ryan started preschool, he was three until October 2nd when he turned four. He was the biggest kid in the class. At the end of that year, despite the fact that he would be five before the December 1st deadline, his preschool teacher recommended he repeat preschool instead of going to kindergarten.
I’m glad we followed her recommendation. Even though Ryan is still the biggest kid in class. I got measured at my doctor’s appointment the other day, and I am four foot, eleven and a half inches tall (hearing that made me feel like a tiny, tiny woman). Ryan is five foot tall. I wear a women’s size six shoe. Ryan wear’s a men’s size six shoe.
About a week after school started this year, Ryan sat down next to me and said “Mom, I want to do something about my weight this year. I’m sick of always being like this.” He was referring to the fact that at five foot tall and ten years old, he weighs 143 pounds.
It was hard for me to hear him say that. We have had ten years of pediatricians telling us that his height will eventually catch up to his weight. Ever since birth, whatever age Ryan was, he was always double that in clothing size. Age six months, twelve month clothes, age two, size 4T, etc. But as he grew taller and taller (and taller!), his weight kept increasing as well. The one thing my husband and I agreed we did not want to do is put him on a “diet”, and start him on a lifelong cycle of gaining and losing. But when he asked us, it meant he was ready to do it for himself.
We ordered a pediatrician-approved program called Slimkids. We followed it for a week, and Ryan lost three pounds. Then the weekend came and his birthday came and he gained the three pounds back. I completely blame myself. He is ten years old, and it is my responsibility to plan, shop for and prepare our family’s meals. It is up to me to put the food that he needs in front of him. But because I have food issues of my own, I am failing already. I buy donuts, and potato chips, even though they aren’t on either of our weight loss programs.
I am failing my son. And I feel like a bad mother. How could I not muster every ounce of strength, determination and courage that I have in order to help my son be the healthiest person he can be? My handsome, amazingly intelligent, talented, funny, beautiful boy. I know that I have it within my power to help him, and to help myself.
I just have to find that power.
| 2.5 |
table4five










Hello and welcome to Table for Five! I'm Elizabeth, and this blog started in September 2005 as a way for me to participate in the Mommy Blogging community. I'm married with three terrific kids-boys ages 11 and 9 and a 2 year old daughter. Things I love include my family, coffee, Diet Coke, TV, reading, and Target.
Please contact me at table4five AT gmail DOT com if you would like to discuss anything I've posted here, place a text or button ad, send me a product to review, or provide a guest post. Thank you for stopping by!
One day at a time.
So just take it one day at a time, and focus on the smaller things rather than trying to do it all at once. If that made any sense, my brain’s mush today….
It takes time to change your habits.
Sometimes lots of time.
I was a freakin’ caffiene addict (yes, addict) during college and at my subsequent job. Like 4 cans of pop (mountain dew or diet coke) a day, sometimes more. When ds1 was a few months old I started to realize how much the caffiene was affecting him (breastmilk), and even though it took close to a year for me to eradicate the pop, I could see the difference and that’s what kept me going. Now, a year and a half after that, I *can’t* drink caffienated pop without getting a 3-day hangover. So now I don’t. And me and the little one and our budget are much happier that way.
Mother-son bonding over preparing a salad to go with dinner?
ASK HIM WHAT WEGETABLES HE LIKES, COOK THEM! Or don’t cook them if he likes them raw.
My parents nit-picked over my weight/shape/size for YEARS and never once did they ask me what kind of vegetables I would like them to pick up at the store.
Aw, sweetie. Food habits are the hardest things to change, because they are literally what we are made of. Food is tied into so many other things - tradition, comfort, personal preference…
But it is worth doing. Maybe a more structured program would work better - does Weight Watchers have a family program? Or could you move in with Oprah? I hear she has room, a chef AND a trainer…and she lives right close by me in Montecito.
I don’t mean to make light (ok, maybe a little). I just want to say that I KNOW how hard it is and I applaud you for taking steps on the path.
One thing that has helped me - when I do it - is writing a food diary, keeping track of every little morsel. Because I would avoid eating junk if I knew I was going to have to record it later. Silly, but it helps me.
Hugs
That is wonderful that your son wants to join you in this. Think of it as an adventure. Buy a new cookbook of healthy foods and try them out together. Try to see the fun in eating healthy and maybe you can make yourself like it. I’ll be pulling for you!
You will find that power. I have no doubt!
Lanna said it beautifully — one day at a time. If you are forgiving with yourself, perhaps he can be more forgiving with himself, too — making it easier to celebrate the victories and keep the momentum going.
I struggle with food issues too (especially recently) and I read a really good article once about ways to stop using food in unhealthy ways. Instead of using it as comfort, find other ways to cheer yourself up. Instead of using it as reward, give yourself treats that don’t involve calories. It was so obvious in some ways, but it was brilliant. I’ve been trying to find it again — if I do I’ll send you the link.
As I read, I am nodding along to parts. Especially the bit about buying junk food like donuts & chips. I am also sitting eating a packet of Cheese & Bacon Balls and drinking an Orange Alcopop and haven’t been for my 3 weekly walk since… well, ever, since I decided to do it. Let me know when you find out the secret to having self control and sticking to it. Good luck.
I think the advice to take one day at a time is right on. I’m not one to embrace too much change at once so I try to implement my lifestyle changes in short bursts.
Like instead of saying that I will do this or that every day no matter what, i say, “I will eat vegetables instead of pasta/rice/potatoes with dinner at least 3 nights this week.”
Or I will make dinner early enough to have time for a bikeride at least 4 nights this week. It gives me some wiggle room so it doesn’t seem so regimented.
And if I buy any junk food, I am powerless over it. I WILL eat it. So most shopping trips, I try to eat a meal before i go shopping so I’m not as tempted to buy my favorite treats. Or I will buy a single serving of something I really love, like ONE glazed donut. This keeps me from eating three in one sitting which I WILL do.
Anyway, these are just a few of my personal tricks. Maybe you will find them useful in helping Ryan. No matter what, you’re a GOOD mom. Always remember that
I am like Izzy, if I buy it I will eat it, ALL AT ONCE. So I try not to buy junk food.
I think it is fabulous that he asked for your help and wants to do it with you. perhaps you two can make a nightly walk part of your routine or something that else that keeps you active and connected together. It is always easier when you have a partner to keep you motivated.
And can I just say, throw away the scale? Instead of focusing on the number focus on having healthy habits.
And I think you are an AWESOME Mom.
This is such hard stuff. Honestly, if you had not cut some slack on the birthday, you’d probably feel like a scrooge for not letting him enjoy some treats for the big day of a kid who sounds totally awesome (from your decade posts). Uzzy had some great ideas (what I do is try to make sure I get 5 servings of fruits/veg a day, which really means having at least 1 at each meal and 1 for a snack–I am a big snacker–although my resolve completely DIES after 7 p.m.). Although I think I like Suebob’s suggestion to move in with Oprah the best!!
Agree with the others - scales distort your perceptions and if it’s in my pantry, I eat it. So I don’t even step on the scale, and I don’t buy the goodies. It’s more expensive to buy a single ice cream cone than an entire half-gallon, but it sure does help me maintain portion control.
You’re a great mom, and you’ve got a great little guy there.
Leave a Reply