15 Responses to “Aren’t I too old for a new mother?”

• Carmen (31 comments.) on October 18th, 2006 at 12:59 pm

  Elizabeth, I received a step mother when I was 19, and she was, oh, about 24. It’s been a rough spate of time, but we are good friends now. In fact, I often call my dad, just to talk to her.

  I introduce her as my dad’s wife, ___. It’s easier than saying step mother, although, interestingly, that’s how my stepkids introduce me.

• tori (51 comments.) on October 18th, 2006 at 4:01 pm

  I can understand why you would feel slighted to not be able to share their special day. They are so cute though! My grandma died last year and my grandpa has a new girlfriend now. My mom thinks it is adorable, and my aunt (my mom’s sister) is angry that he has a girlfriend so soon. He’s over 90! How long should he have waited to start dating?

• wendy (13 comments.) on October 18th, 2006 at 4:09 pm

  My mother-in-law did that a few years ago. We thought she’d sworn off marriage.

• chris (30 comments.) on October 18th, 2006 at 6:41 pm

  I eloped and I imagine that our families felt the same way that you do.

  but really we wanted it to be simple with no expectations or obligations. maybe you can plan a little get together or something for them as a way to celebrate?

• Domestic Chicky (2 comments.) on October 18th, 2006 at 6:56 pm

  Funny, I was just reading here when you were posting-what are the odds?

  Congrats to your dad. I know that my in-laws do things liek this, but they always say its because the didn’t want to bother us, or it was just easier to do it them selves. But it hurts my feelings too-at least give me the opportunity!

• Mrs. Chicky (34 comments.) on October 18th, 2006 at 9:37 pm

  Congatulations to your dad and his new wife. I can understand why you would feel hurt but I’m sure they have their reasons. If your dad is happy and it doesn’t negatively affect you then all is good.

• Suebob (84 comments.) on October 18th, 2006 at 10:42 pm

  Congrats to dad and his lovely new wife. It sounds like a great thing for him.

  I understand your feelings. Mr. Stapler’s dad and his new wife did the same thing. We had gone to the PO Box and I was opening mail and got the announcement - that’s how they told everyone, a printed announcement - and I went “OMG” and Mr Stapler almost ran off the road.

  I really had to take a deep breath and talk him down off the ceiling. He was so mad he did not want to speak to his dad, but I said he needed to be an adult and respect their wishes and call and say Congrats. He realized the wisdom of my ways, of course.

• mayberry (46 comments.) on October 18th, 2006 at 11:24 pm

  Whoa. That is weird! Does this mean you don’t have to spring for a gift?

• theotherbear (55 comments.) on October 19th, 2006 at 8:30 am

  Yeah I could say all sweetness ald light stuff. But if I were you I’d be ticked off. I imagine you’ll do what I would - get over it, eventually, first on the outer, then on the inside. Still, that sucks. I think it was selfish of them to not involve you. Boo to them.

• Erin (3 comments.) on October 19th, 2006 at 10:29 am

  They are so cute!! I know that you feel as though you should have been included, my father did the same thing to me. I was younger, he was younger, she was younger… I have thought about it a lot and have decided that he did not want me there because he was afraid of my disapproval. He did not trust me enough to know that I would have supported him no matter what, even though no, I did not agree. I have still not addressed it with my dad, and maybe never will. I am sure that your dad does not realize that he may have hurt your feelings. Men are just like that. I would think that as your new “step-mom” though, the new wifey would have wanted you there to show that she loves you all and wants to be part of the family.

• meno (32 comments.) on October 19th, 2006 at 12:24 pm

  While i understand how you feel, the picture of them really made me smile. How cute.
  Step-mom? No, i think at this point she is your dad’s wife.

• TB (81 comments.) on October 19th, 2006 at 1:50 pm

  I’m sorry they didn’t include you. I think you call her your stepmother. That sounds right.

  I was thinking maybe it’s because of your dad’s recent illness and surgery that they didn’t want a big fanfare? I suppose once you get to a certain age, traditional wedding stuff isn’t as a big a deal.

  They do look very happy in the picture though.

• Fraulein N (76 comments.) on October 19th, 2006 at 2:19 pm

  I think you should call her whatever makes you most comfortable. As long as she knows you two have a good relationship it really shouldn’t be a problem.

  I like Chris’ idea. Maybe because they are older, they felt like not making a big production out of it. I can understand how you might feel taken aback, but I don’t think he meant to hurt you. He did tell you, even if it WAS after the fact.

  Jean’s pretty, BTW. She kind of reminds me of an older Maya Rudolph.

• Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah (27 comments.) on October 19th, 2006 at 2:53 pm

  When my Grandfather got remarried, my Dad just called his “stepmother” by her first name.

  She was a wonderful person and we all loved her, but she didn’t do much mothering to my father. I think he was 43 when they got married.

  Sometimes I wish we would have called her “Grandma” or “Grandma Teddy” or something like that.

• Nita (1 comments.) on October 22nd, 2006 at 10:24 am

  Your Dad and stepmother look good together. She has a kind face.
  Ofcourse its difficult for me to understand why anyone should want to marry secretly. In India thats only done if someone elopes!

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