I’m no June Cleaver, but I’m trying.
My name is Elizabeth, and I am a lousy housekeeper. No, really, I am. I always have been. I am not the product of my environment, since my Mother insisted we keep the house clean to the point of ridiculousness (we had a formal living room we were not allowed to go in, at all, unless we had company my Mom wanted to impress). When I was in college and then living on my own, it wasn’t hard to keep my place neat because I never owned that many things. How hard is it to straighten up milk crate furniture?
Even after Ryan was born, I didn’t have too much trouble keeping the house clean and neat. Every Saturday while Chris was at work, I would put Ryan in the bouncy seat and disinfect his crib, changing table and dresser. I would pull the furniture away from the walls in his room and dust the baseboards. Granted, it was a small house, around 900 square feet, so in one afternoon I could make a pass through all the rooms.
After Nathan was born and I became a SAHM, I still believed I could keep it up. I envisioned myself being able to whip through the house leaving a trail of sparkling, Pledge-scented surfaces. If someone dropped by unexpectedly in the middle of the afternoon, I would be able to beam with pride at how nice my house looked. Heh. HA.
The more stuff we acquired, the harder it was to find a place for everything. I would pace the aisles of Staples or Office Max or the Target home & office section, looking desperately for the organizational system that would solve all my problems. I watched “Clean Sweep” and imagined asking my husband to put everything we owned out in the backyard so I could start over fresh. I purged, I tried filing systems, I bought a label maker. I moved piles of stuff from one surface to another.
Fast forward to today, when I am home from 8:00 to 3:30 with just the baby to care for. I still daydream about being able to whip through the house like SuperMom, straightening and dusting and leaving a trail of sparkles behind me. Except the reality is that there is stuff piled up EVERYWHERE. I am a PILER. I am beyond the help of even the FlyLady. (Besides, she sends out too damn many emails, I mean GOD, does she think I’m on the computer ALL DAY or something?)
So in one last attempt to bring some order to the chaos that is in both my head and the house, I made a list. A BIG list. I have it organized so that every day I completely clean one area of the house. I also have exercise on the list, so I don’t forget to do it. Today, for example, looks like this:
1. Scoop kitty litter
2. Clean the boys’ room. Clear off tops of dressers, straighten dresser drawers. Organize toy bin, bookshelves and closet. Dust and vacuum.
3. Clean the family room. Clear off desks and computer table. Organize toy bins. Dust and vacuum. Clean windows and sliding glass door.
4. Cardio-Thirty minute routine from Exercise TV, or walk at the mall.
Now you might be thinking, why am I cleaning the boys’ bedroom and playroom instead of making them do it? Simple. Their idea of cleaning is to scoop everything up and dump it onto the nearest surface, or push it under the bed or into the closet. I like walking back to the family room and seeing the toys spread out into their respective bins, instead of all piled up together. It matters more to me than it does to them, so once a week I get it organized the way I like it.
So there you have it. Let me know in the comments if you want to see the whole seven days’ plan and I’ll post it. Or, tell me what your system is for trying to keep up with the housework. I can use all the help I can get.
I do not have housecleaning skill. I make things dirtier by trying to clean them. Honest, stuff looks worse when I am finished cleaning. I don’t know how it happens.
I am also easily distracted. I leave things half-done all over the place. I leave things out because I am going to get back to them, then I don’t, so they are not put away.
I get overwhelmed easily. I look at the mess and think “There is NO WAY I can get that all organized,” which is probably true, because I am terrible at organizing.
This all leads to my life right now: I live alone because I drive other people crazy.
dear elizabeth
i could have written this post - but thanks, now i don’t have to and am free to eat peanut butter cups and read new yorkers - except i haaaate to clean. i LOVE a clean house but HATE to clean, so if you ever find that magic organizational product, please pick one up for me so my life and kitchen table can be magically transformed.
swiftly.
I am sometimes so overwhelmed by trying to keep my house clean that i threaten to move just so i won’t need to.
It’s like making the bed, i like getting into a made bed, but i hate making the bed. So every night, about 9:30 or so, i make my bed. Pathetic, but whatever.
I WAS wondering why the boys aren’t cleaning up their own toys… especially if you have toy bins. It should be pretty easy for them to stow stuff in bins, right? Maybe buy a few more bins and your problem is solved.
I was lmao at this:
I mean GOD, does she think I’m on the computer ALL DAY or something?)
HAHAHAHA!
Why are women the only ones who feel guilty about not wanting to clean? Lots of people enjoy living in clean surroundings. Why is it we’re the only ones who are required to provide it before we can live it? Why aren’t men writing about feeling guilty because they don’t lift a finger to clean their own pee off of the toilet? Why do we feel guilty because we DON’T clean their pee off of the toilet?
I’m in between, but definitely on the slovenly side. I don’t do toilets or floors. I just hate mopping floors (but I don’t mind vacuuming), and if dh misses, well, he gets to deal with it weeks later. As long as the seat and lid are clean, I’m good.
My main thing is trying to declutter and get rid of all the crap our families “gift” us. Just because they’re *all* packrats doesn’t mean we have to be doomed as well. Other than that my system is telling people I have kids, and the house is gonna be messy when they come over. It should get slightly better once we don’t have as much crap and I can put the kiddos to work.
And as for cleaning with kids, yeah, it blows. I finally get the sink uncovered and dishes all clean, and someone’s thrown applesauce across the table, dumped out his train set and little people set, ripped his diaper off while the other one drools and scoots on the carpet. Last night dh said something to the effect of “Well, if we focus on one room a week we could get the house in shape in a month or two.” *snort* In your dreams buddy… unless we ship off the kids to certain death at my IL’s for a week or however long they last… My aunt and uncle have a spotless (yet comfy and lived in) house, but they also don’t and never will have kids.
I’m terrible at cleaning, and I think it’s because my mother kept the house so clean. Call me a rebel, but because I had to sweep and dust and do dishes when I was a child, I can’t stand to do these, particularly in their assigned times from my childhood (dishes right after dinner, dusting on Saturdays). Maybe it’s because your mother kept things ridiculously clean that you don’t.
I hate clean now because growing up my mom made me clean everything. Her house has not been completely clean since I moved out 7 years ago!
I have also tried the clean one room top to bottom everyday approach, but I feel like I am cleaning nonstop. Plus we just upgraded from an manageable house to a much bigger one, so I am soooo hating it! Yeah, I know, whine, whine…. 
But it is hard with kids and a job!!!
For what it’s worth, I don’t think people with small children are meant to have neat tidy houses. I know when I try to keep up, I end up cranky and mean, so it really isn’t good for anyone. I do try to keep up with it so we don’t drown in papers, and I try to limit what comes into the house so we have a fighting chance, but I definitely don’t stress about having a perfectly neat house. My kids know I am happier when they make their rooms somewhat neat, but otherwise I am on my own because no one else seems to even notice piles of crap everywhere. I have “important” piles of crap, and unimportant ones. The unimportant ones I go through and throw away as I have time, but otherwise I’m pretty sure it is normal to have some mess in your hosue when you have kids.
I once heard “You can have kids and pets, or you can have a clean house.” Apparently, I’ve made my choice.
I’m home with just P until 2pm every day and I still don’t get jack shit done. My house was way cleaner when I had 3 cats, a dog and no kids and worked all day.
Ha! Your sons and my daughter employ the same cleaning method.
My solution is to go around with a laundry basket and sweep al the clutter into it. Then later, sometimes, weeks later, I go through the basket and throw half of it away. I’m sure the Clean Sweep people would be very impressed. NOT!
I’m sorry… housecleaning?
Doesn’t ring a bell.
I WAS a good housekeeper. Until I had kids. My standards are much lower now.
I honestly dream of having a day off from work to stay home and organize things. But if that day were to come I’d probably be too overwhelmed to actually DO anything productive, and would sit on the couch and blog and eat bon-bons.