By 8:30 this morning I was already wishing I could get in bed, curl up under the covers and stay there until, oh, say next week. I was up until 1:00 a.m. keeping Chris company as he packed for his business trip, including an hour and a half of looking for the battery charger for his camera, which has disappeared into that same room that also swallowed Ryan’s school pictures and a multitude of remote controls.

He took my camera instead, which means I have the use of his at least until the battery wears out. On the plus side, it is a Canon 10D, so it takes good photos, but it has a 72mm lens on it so that means no photos up close or while anyone is moving. Also, no battery charger means no flash, because it sucks up too much battery power. So be prepared for dark, far away blurry photos from me for the next week, ‘kay?

Anyway, after finally going to bed at 1:00 a.m. (and convincing my Chris that no, we shouldn’t have sex even though he is leaving for a week, because it was ONE IN THE MORNING), Kaitlyn woke up at 3:45 a.m. OF COURSE. She has a little diaper rash, so instead of just letting her whimper and fall back asleep, I got up to change her. We sat on the couch for a while after that while she snuggled against me being generally adorable, and I leaned over against her and fell asleep face down on her cheek. Wearing my glasses. Ouch for both of us.

I crawled back into bed at about 4:15 a.m., only to have Chris’ alarm go off at 5:00 a.m. so he could drive to Detroit for his flight. He’s going to St. Cloud Minnesota. Where I’m sure it is just as frigidly cold as it is here. And he forgot his gloves.

At 7:15 a.m. Ryan woke me up by standing outside the bedroom door and calling out to me. It’s a good thing he did, as I had not set any kind of alarm to wake myself up (usually Chris and I get up together) and would have happily slept in all morning. I stumbled out to the living room with my eyes literally half-closed, and mumbled something to the kids about getting ready for school. Then I went out to start warming up the car (it’s a frosty twenty degrees here this morning), and found that two of the van’s sliding doors were frozen shut. GREAT. I have a vague memory of making Kaitlyn a bottle and wrestling her into her giant purple evil snowsuit of evil, and hollering for Nathan to come back inside as he was standing in front of the van with no mittens or backpack.

When I’m tired, I have no patience. And it’s my kids who suffer. I yell, I complain, and I say things to them that aren’t fair. It’s not their fault that I didn’t get much sleep, and I know they are doing their best. I’m the one acting like a whiny brat, and I feel like crap about it. It’s going to be hard enough as it is having Chris gone for a week, getting no break from the kids at all. If I can’t pull myself together and just do what has to be done, we will all suffer.

Fortunately, we also have moments like this, when we are having fun and enjoying being together. Click to watch what keeps me going on a daily basis: (and let me know if you can’t see it)

P.S. Don’t you hate it when you break your buzz? Watch the video to see what I mean.