I didn’t get to see the interview, but I read Suburban Bliss. I think the point missing from whether babysitters should drink while babysitting is that these aren’t their children. If I choose to have a drink or have friends over or have a boyfriend over, that’s my choice. If my babysitter did it, there would be problems.

Huh, I’d never even thought of or heard of that (cocktails at playdates).
I’d think an occasional cocktail would be okay, but my concern (especially with a few of the skinny girls I know) is that a cocktail would knock them on their ass and they’d be stuck at the playdate for an extra 5 hours or so - because no one would get to drive off impaired (well, save for the typical kid screaming and such).
But I’m so boring that my ’special’ drink of choice is a Shirley Temple. Even at dh’s company holiday party where the tab’s picked up by the company. This subject doesn’t get me all riled up like some others can, so to each their own.

Hey Elizabeth,

Do you want to come over for a cocktail playdate? I’ll host.

As the mom in the green shirt (as people keep referring to me) I think the whole point was that by 9 p.m. we’re all too tired to go out for a real night on the town. this is our socializing, like it or not. And mostly, I’d say not unless I meet some actual cool moms sometime soon. Of course, knowing me I’ll meet them in AA and then no one can drink (joke).

In our neighborhood, we have a playgroup once a month. We take turns hosting…and the host agrees to have a bottle or two of wine. The moms enjoy good conversation while the kids play and none of us are “impaired.” And, since we’re all in the neighborhood, we don’t drive to playgroup. (Unless Walking Under the Influence is a problem…haha….I went to school where Biking Under the Influence was a REAL offense…no lie.) Anyway, I see no problem with it, as long as the moms are being responsible.

I’m entirely with you (and Melissa) on this one, Elizabeth. 100% on duty? Bullshit. I’m also in agreement with the theory that if you’re drinking too much to, say, stop your kid from getting into dangerous situations or being able to take them to the hospital (i.e. impaired in the legal sense), then playdate chardonnay is only the tip of your problem iceberg. Guys would definitely have a beer, althought when I had a daddy playdate / dinner the other night, no beer was consumed until the steaks were at least on the barbecue (6pm) — that’s just the way it worked out I guess.

This may be the birthplace of the Designated Playdate Monitor (I’ll trademark that after I hit “submit”). And you’re all invited over for drinks, er… a playdate. Just let me know your availability.

Mike

PS Thanks for stopping by my blog on my blogiversary. I feel a little honoured.

I saw the clip, and couldn’t believe how they set Melissa up to be attacked. The problem is that 1. too many people in America don’t know the meaning of moderation, and 2. people hold mothers to superhuman standards.

If I knew of anyone in my area who would enjoy having a glass of wine while our kids played, I’d be happy to do so. But most of my mom friends are non-drinkers, or feel to guilty to do something like that.

I know my limits. One drink will barely register in my system, especially if I drink it slowly over the length of a playdate, with food.

You’re on fire today, Elizabeth. On fire.

I see absolutely no problem at all. And I love your point about dads–it’s practically a given that if a group of dads was caring for a group of kids, there would be beer somewhere!

Mothers should not drink.

Just when you thought you’d heard it all.

I swear, sometimes I think people get these outrageous opinions just so they can get interviewed on TV, the radio or anywhere that will listen to their nonsense.

If mums can’t drink, then should we also ban them from anything else that feels good? Of course not. If I had a baby I’d bring it over to your place, Elizabeth, with a bottle of wine tucked in the stroller.

regarding the babysitter angle– typically how old are your babysitters anyway? My guess is many (most?) aren’t even of legal drinking age, no?

if my sister came over to sit my (non-existent) kid(s) and she had a beer, I wouldn’t care - becuase I know it wold also be A beer or A glass a wine. I think immediate family falls under a different banner than people you have “outsourced” and are paying a rate/hr. Just my $.02

I think mothers should not have sex either…….ha ha ha ha. Just kidding.

I think Viera is a complete idiot for making this an issue at all. We’re all adults, we can make responsible decisions for ourselves, and I think this nonsense contributes to the hysteria of parenting prevalent in our media and culture.

Cheers!

Just think of how corrupted I am - I used to help my parents make wine! Gasp! Now all i do is get hammered, day in and day out. Oh wait, that’s nothing like my life. My parents drank alcohol in front of me as a kid, and as it turned out, I learned that alcohol is a drink to be enjoyed in moderation by responsible adults.

I’m fascinated that this has caused such an incredible hooplah. My friends and I always have some wine when we get together with the kids. None of us have ever woken up with a hangover in the ball pit after the fact. I never would have imagined this would be a big deal until Melissa started getting daggers thrown at her. I wrote out some of my own outrage today because I had to get it out of my own head.

Also?

That was so funny I spit out the wine I’m drinking. But hey, it’s okay, my kids are asleep so I’m now allowed to drink wine! Uh. I think. Maybe I should call Meredith Viera and ask her to be sure.

My parents are totally against drinking and never even let me see anyone drink any alcohol. Ever. When I went to college, I had a little problem with alcohol. Cause and effect? Maybe. I don’t see a problem with social drinking, as long as you are not drunk and would be able to drive your child to the hospital if they got hurt, or make decisions rationally. Being a mom shouldn’t change who you are. I personally wouldn’t drink during a play date (or pretty much ever) but don’t look down on people who do. I had a playdate with some other moms who were drinking dacquri’s (how the hell do you spell that???) and they all had themselves in control. If we could all support each other as mothers and as women, what a wonderful place the world would be. Judging women for drinking sucks because men in the same situation would not be judged the same way. Men are “suposed to” sit around and drink beer and no one questions it affecting their ability to take care of the kids. When women do it, it turns into a huge issue. Because women and men are still not viewed equally. Because women judge each other. Could we all just stop judging and let each other be?

Grrrr, arrgh. This kind of reasoning drives me nuts, partly because of COURSE no one would have a problem with this if it were men doing it. Also, drinking does NOT equal drunk. There are different degrees of impairment, and somehow I doubt anybody was talking about getting pissy drunk while the little ones toddle off to play in traffic. Jeez.

Anyone who makes a big deal about a couple of women getting together for a glass of wine while the kids play is insane. Sitting around smoking a joint? Now, that would be cause for concern… but I didn’t see this woman suggesting they get fall-down drunk… a simple cocktail can be as effective to some as a popping a Xanax!