Today was the day I got Nathan’s diagnosis back from the NeuroPsychiatrist that he saw last month. The results were very similar to the results of the tests that the school did at the end of last school year-he is reading and writing at grade level, and his reading comprehension is at fourth grade level. They did an I.Q. test, and his verbal intelligence is very high.
But, he failed the memory tests that required him to look at patterns of dots and then remember where the dots were. The writing test showed that he writes too fast and does not put spaces between words, which I already knew. The problem is all about focus. He can’t mentally focus enough to do written tasks, or to remember sequences of events.
And then the Doctor said something that broke my heart, he said that when the tester asked Nathan how he felt about having trouble in school, Nathan said “I feel stupid”.
I can’t count how many times I have sat him down and explained that it isn’t his fault, that it’s just the way his brain is wired, and that a lot of kids have ADHD. All he knows is that people keep asking him questions, and his teachers keep reminding him to focus on his work, and we make him do an hour of schoolwork a day to help him learn study habits while his friends are outside riding their bikes…I can totally see his point of view, but the fact is, he does have this one thing that is different from his friends, and we can’t just ignore it, because it probably won’t ever go away.
He is so special, my youngest boy, so loving and sweet and so, so smart. He’s funny, and helpful, and the way he treats his sister with such tender care fills my heart with joy every day. I’m writing this post in part so that some day I can show it to him and let him know how proud I am of him, and how much I love him, just the way he is.











Hello and welcome to Table for Five! I'm Elizabeth, and this blog started in September 2005 as a way for me to participate in the Mommy Blogging community. I'm married with three terrific kids-boys ages 11 and 9 and a 2 year old daughter. Things I love include my family, coffee, Diet Coke, TV, reading, and Target.
Please contact me at table4five AT gmail DOT com if you would like to discuss anything I've posted here, place a text or button ad, send me a product to review, or provide a guest post. Thank you for stopping by!
Poor Nathan! Nothing is worse than feeling like you are different from everyone else. And feeling stupid on top of it. Ick.
I can totally identify with some of the things you described about Nathan in your post. I have ALWAYS done things more quickly than everyone else. I am always the first person to finish a test, because I go too quickly. I remember teachers and my parents getting on my case about going too fast and missing test questions. it sucks, but at the same time, I get more stuff done now as an adult than others do.
And focus? What’s that?
It’s hard being a kid.
Thanks, Erin. And I should mention that I think one of the problems in the classroom is the stupid No Child Left Behind Act. There is so much pressure on teachers to get everyone passing these standardized tests, and they know a kid like Nathan will never be able to do it. It’s not “learn at your own pace”, it’s “hurry up and learn already”. That just adds to the frustration.
Hugs to both of you. I’m so sorry. My heart broke when I read what he said about feeling stupid; I can only imagine how hard it must have been for you to hear that.
More hugs.
It’s always so hard not to hurt with our kids. Like you say, they are part of your heart.
Oh man…don’t get me started on No Child Left Behind and students like your son…
I hope that getting him some help can boost his confidence. There is a very good website that is funded by Charles Schwab, who has a son who was diagnosed with dyslexia. It has great information for parents and kids and I believe there is even a separate website just for kids. My favorite section to show the kids is the section that has very successful individuals who have learning difficulties (ADHD and other learning issues). Here is the link: http://www.schwablearning.org/
He will appreciate this post one day!
Congrats on your nomination at Blogger’s Choice! Well deserved!
I feel for you. Kids are so hard on themselves, despite the fact that we reassure them we love them no matter what. I’ll be thinking of you!
Mamatulip-thank you, that means a lot to me!
PJMom-So true.
FastLane-Thank you for that link, I’ll check it out!
Tori-Thanks sweetie, I apppreciate that!
Oh poor Nathan.. I hope the teachers there will treat him special. Yeah.. continue to assure him, he is not stupid.. just special. Have you every thought sending him to special school?
I teach MANY students with ADHD and the majority of them are successful. He just has to have the motivation and want to do well. And, I agree with you about No Child Left Behind—it’s stupid. (And so are standardized tests.)
What a sweetheart!
In my son’s 1st grade class, over a third of the kids have some sort of challenge, ADHD, dyslexia, ESL learners… and all of them are super-smart kids. I know it must be frustrating for Nathan (and you, too, mama) but at least in this day and age, his challenges are not unaccepted. He’ll find his rhythm.
awww, poor kid.
I wanted to know how you noticed this and what age, if it’s not to personal to talk about… my son is only 4 but I feel it is so difficult for him to stay in one place and focus, and sometimes he totally loses it and breaks down if something out of the norm happens or something happens that he does not expect… could just be the age, but I don’t know… sometimes I just worry if I need to do something more for him.
Can i come give him a hug??? Ok, give him one for me!
You are doing everything right. Keep focusing on the things he does well while you continue to get him the help with ADHD that is out there. He’s going to do great.
He’s so cute too!
My brother had ADHD growing up. It’s very hard. He’s 41 now and back in school doing electronics. He said he’s never felt smart until now. He is by far one of the smartest people I know. He just learns differently.
Hi, your son is a very healthy and handsome looking guy.
After reading your story about Nathan, I must admit I was very touched by the last paragraph. Children with ADHD needs plenty of love, and I’m very pleased to take cognizance of the fact that you know this as well. With your perseverance and loving care, I wouldn’t be surprised if Nathan eventually grow out of ADHD like so many others.
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