Today was the day I got Nathan’s diagnosis back from the NeuroPsychiatrist that he saw last month. The results were very similar to the results of the tests that the school did at the end of last school year-he is reading and writing at grade level, and his reading comprehension is at fourth grade level. They did an I.Q. test, and his verbal intelligence is very high.

But, he failed the memory tests that required him to look at patterns of dots and then remember where the dots were. The writing test showed that he writes too fast and does not put spaces between words, which I already knew. The problem is all about focus. He can’t mentally focus enough to do written tasks, or to remember sequences of events.

And then the Doctor said something that broke my heart, he said that when the tester asked Nathan how he felt about having trouble in school, Nathan said “I feel stupid”.

I can’t count how many times I have sat him down and explained that it isn’t his fault, that it’s just the way his brain is wired, and that a lot of kids have ADHD. All he knows is that people keep asking him questions, and his teachers keep reminding him to focus on his work, and we make him do an hour of schoolwork a day to help him learn study habits while his friends are outside riding their bikes…I can totally see his point of view, but the fact is, he does have this one thing that is different from his friends, and we can’t just ignore it, because it probably won’t ever go away.

He is so special, my youngest boy, so loving and sweet and so, so smart. He’s funny, and helpful, and the way he treats his sister with such tender care fills my heart with joy every day. I’m writing this post in part so that some day I can show it to him and let him know how proud I am of him, and how much I love him, just the way he is.

NathanSmiling