I’m riding on the edge of panic. I feel like I’m about a hair’s breadth away from curling up into the fetal position with my hands clamped over my ears and my eyes squeezed shut. I feel like if one more person makes one more demand on me, I am going to run screaming from the house.
Bank balance? $24.00. Next paycheck for Chris? Next Wednesday. Doing the math makes my chest feel too tight.
Blog jobs-available, but payment dates are uncertain. I have to check every day to see if there is enough for a bag of store-brand dog food, the smallest pack of diapers. I need shoes to go with my dress for BlogHer, but I don’t need them, of course. If my shoes don’t match the dress, the world won’t end, I know.
Kaitlyn-adorable as always, but she needs so much of me. And I want to give her all of me, I really do, but right at this moment, I don’t have anything. I beg the boys to play with her, to keep her busy, to feed her snacks, to change her diaper. They parent her while I hold on.
Breathing, slowly in, slowly out.
Hope everything will be all right; I know you’re looking forward to BlogHer as well.
Keep breathing, Honey. I am close to your feeling of panic. One day at a time is too much right now, try one moment at a time. One hour, one minute. And keep breathing.
Twitter: blondemomblog
says:
Hang in there sweetie!
Do you ever sell on eBay or Craigslist?
I have been selling our baby equipment on Craigslist and have been quite pleased plus it’s FREE to list.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Graham- Thank you. I will be fine, I just have to keep riding the waves.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Marie- I’m sorry to hear you are feeling the same way as I do. I read on your blog that you lost your Internet access, that would have made me panic too! Glad you are back on
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Jamie- Thanks for the suggestions, i didn’t even know Lansing had a Craigs List page! I’m going to list our exersaucer and baby swing for five dollars each, plus a bunch of other stuff too. MUCH better than a garage sale.
Somehow it all works out, you know? But it sure is bad timing that the paid posts are dry this time of year. I’m praying for you.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Angie- thank you. I’m taking as many opps as I can on both blogs, but of course I won’t see that money for 30 days. The nice people at Blogsvertise and v7Network gave me a few jobs, I should get paid for those in a few days. It’s one day at a time here.
I don’t have any advice or anything actually. Just want you to know that I’ve been there. Hang it.
Breathe.
Welcome to my world. Except I don’t wish this upon anyone. We can’t pay all of our property taxes this month because we had a situation with another debt. And we’re not spendy people…not like we used to be. (We’re going to have to beg my parents for a little help) I don’t know how many times I’ve feared that I won’t afford BlogHer.
I decided to screw the idea of new clothes. I can’t afford them. I wish I was smarter with the finances or had some paid gigs, but I don’t.
I’m here if you need to talk.
Twitter: Cybercelt
says:
Smorty pays within a day of finishing the post. PayU2Blog pays 2x monthly and if you say “give them to me” on your profile, they will have you writing your fingers off.
God bless.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Jennifer- Thanks. Breathing is continuing, albeit slowly. Dinner is cans of soup I found in the back of the pantry, and biscuits made from Aldi baking mix. No one will go hungry tonight.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Dana- Thank you. We will be broke together at BlogHer in our un-trendy clothes, and we will have more fun than anyone else. Promise. I’ll call you later tonight xoxo
Just do the best you can and things will work out. Hang in there! And by the way, the only one who will know that you don’t have new clothes is YOU, so don’t worry about it.
Hang in there girl, it will all work out, have a bit of hope.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
CC- I have a task pending from Smorty, but it’s been so long, I can’t even remember how many words they want! I’m signed up with PU2B, what do you mean when you say to put “give them to me” in my profile? And, um, did you put something in my PayPal account? If so, THANK YOU xoxo
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Alison- Thank you, your words are kind as always
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Kat- Oh I know, this is just typical me, I get stressed and I go into full-out, red alert mode, and then it passes and I’m fine. The worst that can happen is we bounce a few checks, our credit union doesn’t even care, they just keep track and take the fees out once we make another deposit. It’s like an overdraft loan without the loan part. Anyway, thanks for checking in with me
I have no advice. Just wanted to remind you to keep breathing. I sure hope some of these suggestions help. And I am sure that you don’t need new clothes to have a good time at BlogHer.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Amanda- Still breathing. I just did a two mile walking workout and I feel much better. And no, I don’t *need* new clothes, but considering that I wear the same thrift store outfits every year, it’s nice to get an excuse to buy some!
Twitter: soleflormom
says:
I’m glad you’re feeling better now. I suffer from cronic anxiety and panic attacks are really present in my life. My heart beat rises a lot, and once I had to stay in hospital for two days. I have some pills to put under my tongue when I’m really bad. I know the feeling it is when we check our bank account and there is almost no money there. I hope Paid posts will give me some extra money for a long time. Wish you the best.
Twitter: pz5wjj
says:
Go outside and scream at the top of your lungs.
Then remember to go in and keep breathing…
Good luck and hope you’re feeliing better!
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Laura- It’s nice to know other people understand, although I’m sorry it happens to you as well. It’s amazing how much better I felt after I did a two mile walking workout. I HATE to exercise but I have to admit, it makes me feel better.