(Ryan-Christmas 1998)
I’ve been longing for Christmases past the last few days. I’ve been having long detailed dreams about being college-age again, when I owned almost nothing and Chris and I lived in tiny apartments, but we were so happy. I remember our first Christmas when it was just the two of us (my parents weren’t speaking to me) and we went to the movies on Christmas Eve day to see “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles”. Then we each took $50.00 and split up inside the Mall to shop for each other’s gifts.
I feel like I should have started getting ready for Christmas in October. Like now it is almost here, and there isn’t enough time! to do everything! and make it all perfect and memorable and what have you. And I know that Christmas isn’t about stuff, and that the world won’t end if I do the Christmas cards tomorrow or the next day, and that the tree will get decorated eventually-but still.
You know those TV commercials where everyone is gathered inside a big house in the country with the warm yellow light spilling out of the windows, with wreaths and garlands and flickering candles and everyone dressed in beautiful clothes exchanging perfectly wrapped gifts? I’ll admit it, I want that. This feeling of discontent, it is all so superficial, because I know how lucky we are to have a house to live in, clothes and food and money to buy gifts, and that I am just looking at it from the wrong perspective.
And yet, there it is. I will more than likely be taking a blogging break for at least a few days around Christmas, I’m not taking any new review assignments at the moment so I can get all caught up on the ones I already need to do. I’ve got two more DVDs and three copies of JumpStart World to give away, plus a Time Manager that lets you set how long your kids can play on the computer or video games, AND a free weekend rental of a Dell digital projector, which I am going to do start on Monday so you can have it by next weekend.
I’m hoping that by taking a few days to step away from my online world, I’ll be able to engage myself more fully in what is going on in my home. I want to bake cookies, I want to have Kaitlyn decorate paper plate Santas with glue and glitter, I want to go on long drives to look at Christmas lights. And I want to make this Christmas one that will be just as memorable as all the ones that have gone by.
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Yeah – those perfect Christmas images are too much to try and live up to. They are the reason so many people wind up feeling depressed around the holidays. I always try to get everything done early and still wind up feeling stressed at the last minute. Here’s to remembering what it’s supposed to be about. (or at least trying to!)
What an adorable picture! I too am going to be off the puter for a while. I want to devote my attention to my kids while they are home.
I think that the media has us all whipped up into an unnecessary buying frenzy. I was also happier when i had fewer things. Makes me wonder why I am spending so much time working for things I don’t really need.
*hug* Good for you sis! No one works harder at this, nor deserves to stop and take a break and breathe in the wonderfulness that you do it for (your three babies, JUST for starters) than you do. Parker turns 3 in less than a week and I find myself trying to find the rewind button. Even though I’ve spent so much time giving him love, playing with him, teaching him, I am frantically trying to grasp at time and make it stand still, just so I can hold and hold and hold him. Christmas is magical. It’s about loving and being loved, giving and being blessed. You have three of the coolest (and cutest) kids I know, and one of the best husbands on the planet. You could live out of a cardboard box and still be 10 times more blessed than the richest person on the planet.
Oh! And I want a paper-plate Santa for Christmas! I will frame it and it will don my wall for all time!
great pictures, i’m looking forward to be with my kids this holidays.
Hahaha, I also like to have those picture. I’ve got my first ever Christmas tree (finally!), and I bought my hubby, son and daughter a gift, but I know I will not get anything in return. So, that is just dream for me too.