An Open Letter of Apology to Sweetney

Well. Remember when I wrote that post about how Alli from Mrs. Fussypants got “called out” on Twitter and how the other blogger was a big meanie and I pretty much unleashed a hatefest on her?

I owe her an apology. I didn’t name her name in my post but someone else did in a comment, and as soon as I found out who it was, I literally gasped out loud. Because the blogger who was just pointing out what she saw as similarities between one blog and others is someone who I think of as a friend. Someone who spends almost every Tuesday night during American Idol season chatting with me and a bunch of other snarky betches on MamaPopTalk, who also has a huge heart and is very kind and loving. She makes everyone who comes to the MamaPopTalk forum feel welcome, she’s funny as hell, and if someone who’s a regular chatter has a problem or is sick or something, she is the first to make sure they are okay. We haven’t met in person, but I consider Tracey a friend, and friends just don’t accuse other friends of being mean.

Tracey, I am truly, genuinely sorry. The reason I emailed you was because my conscience was bothering me, and rightfully so. I sat down and banged out that post without even having all the information, and not only that, but I didn’t even take my OWN ADVICE and be kind and supportive. I butted into your business and I shouldn’t have. Oh, and when I wrote that “I am going to make sure to cut every tie I might have to that person online somewhere, as soon as possible”? JESUS. Who the hell do I think *I* am? I don’t want to cut my ties to you, I LIKE you! I want to still chat with you on MamaPopTalk just like we have for the past two seasons.

I broke my OWN FREAKING RULE, here. I didn’t have anything nice to say about you in that previous post, and that was wrong. You are a good person, and you didn’t deserve me to unleash the fury on you like that. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise that in the future I will THINK before I blog. I will think about whether I have absolutely all the information in a situation and if not, I won’t make judgements about the people involved. It would mean a lot to me if you would accept my apology.

Your friend who wishes she could take it back,

Elizabeth

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 1st, 2008 at 7:11 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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29 Responses to “An Open Letter of Apology to Sweetney”

1. sweetney (4 comments.) says:

   July 1, 2008 at 7:29 pm

   oh sweets, thanks for your support. really. i’m sorry you even had to write this. xoxo

   Reply
2. Dana (2 comments.) says:

   July 1, 2008 at 7:49 pm

   Elizabeth, you’re a class act. So much so that I hope together we can party someday.

   Reply
3. Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants (9 comments.) says:

   July 1, 2008 at 8:06 pm

   Elizabeth,
   You are a sweet woman. Must be why everyone loves you!
   Love, Alli

   Reply
4. MorganLighter (3 comments.) says:

   July 1, 2008 at 8:18 pm

   Oops!
   Hoping the two of you can mend the fence.

   Reply
5. Naomi (33 comments.) says:

   July 1, 2008 at 8:24 pm

   I have no idea what all this was about but I’m glad you two are solid. Goodness gracious.

   Reply
6. Honeybell (13 comments.) says:

   July 1, 2008 at 9:16 pm

   Elizabeth, I totally understand the snap to anger that comes from hearing about someone you know and like being hurt. You are a class act for making this post, and I’m happy that Sweetney has accepted your apology.

   However I stand firm in my belief that angry twitter comments meant to hurt others are uncalled for, even if they come from someone I consider a friend. I don’t know Sweetney, had never been to her blog before. I have no desire to judge her as a person based on this one circumstance, but I probably won’t become a regular reader either.

   “When people show you who they are, believe them.”

   In any case, you are one wonderful person!

   Reply
7. sweetney (4 comments.) says:

   July 1, 2008 at 9:44 pm

   honeybell, i’d just like to interject that there is no way you can know who i am based on two 140 character twitter quotes taken out of a lifetime’s worth of internet context, having never read my blog or had any interaction with me whatsoever before yesterday.

   say what you will, but at least my criticisms were based on months of reading of the other blog in question.

   Reply
8. Honeybell (13 comments.) says:

   July 1, 2008 at 9:55 pm

   Sweetney you are absolutely right. Which is why I said “I have no desire to judge her as a person based on this one circumstance”.

   You are certainly entitled to your opinion! We just disagree on how that opinion was expressed is all.

   Reply
9. Dawn says:

   July 1, 2008 at 10:37 pm

   So what you are saying is that Sweetney didn’t actually say all those critical things to Mrs. Fussypants and that Mrs. Fussypants was just blowing it out of proportion?? Hmmm…

   I have to say I agree with Honeybell on this one.

   Reply
10. Sarcastic Mom (2 comments.) says:

    July 2, 2008 at 12:07 am

    I used to make sure everyone, everywhere knew exactly how I felt about everything. It caused me more than one uncomfortable situation, and it has harmed at least one very good friendship that I had, much to my deep regret. I am deeply and intimately aquainted with the taste of my own foot.
    I’ve been trying to stop seeing if it still tastes the same.
    So all I’ll say now is that it’s impossible to always be nice, but we should probably try whenver we can, we all have a right to our opinions, but it’s sometimes good to think them through and check to see why we’re announcing them, and often it’s best to go to the source when you have a problem or suspicion.
    At the end of the day, I really like and respect both of these people, so I’m hoping the hurt on every side here can heal and we can all walk away with new perspective and let bygones be bygones. Perhaps that’s just the Idealist in me coving the Realist’s eyes with wool, but I can hope, right?

    Maybe we should just all get drunk together. Wait, I don’t drink. I’ll just watch you guys do it and take videos to post on my blog later, k?

    <3, Sarcastic Mom

    Reply
11. Naijaecash (1 comments.) says:

    July 2, 2008 at 2:32 am

    I may never fully understand what transpired between the two party. But the ability to drop the natural coat of pride and apologize for a wrong publicly is a sign of MATURITY and MEEKNESS which can never go un-noticed.
    I am happy that the offended party also openly acknowledge that the apology is accepted.
    There is no perfect human being anywhere, but we all can make the world a better place with little acts of KINDNESS. Cheers.

    Reply
12. Buy Handmade Buttons (1 comments.) says:

    July 2, 2008 at 9:26 am

    I stand firm in my belief that angry twitter comments meant to hurt others are uncalled for, even if they come from someone I consider myself. embathy!!!

    Reply
13. zchamu (2 comments.) says:

    July 2, 2008 at 9:55 am

    While you may have been unduly harsh on sweetney before you knew it was her, I do have to ask: Why is bullshit OK from friends, and not from “not friends”? The comments were the same no matter who made them, kwim? They hurt fussypants exactly the same way, whether it was from a random stranger or the queen of England.

    Reply
14. Loralee (4 comments.) says:

    July 2, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Oh, my. I do feel for you in this situation. I think a lot of us went off on the “Unnamed blogger” before knowing it was Sweetney.

    When I found out it was her (After falling off of my chair in shock) I was actually more confused than when I thought it was a jealous nobody that envied Fussypant’s traffic and following.

    Sweetney is absolutely entitled to her opinions. I really feel that way. It just seemed overly harsh and unnecessary.

    I admire Sweetney as a blogger and a load of my friends know her and think the world of her, so I don’t think she is this evil monster.

    I don’t read Fussy regularly, but I have had enough interaction with her to think she is a sweetheart and I feel for her in this situation.

    I really loved Sarcastic Mom’s comment. I hope that everyone heals from it.

    Reply
15. jennster (57 comments.) says:

    July 2, 2008 at 2:06 pm

    i actually really agree with zchamu… i get the point she’s trying to make. you were so upset that someone said such “mean” things about your good friend and hurt her feelings, etc… but now that you know who said it, you take all that back? it’s not mean anymore? it doesn’t matter as much anymore? i totally understand that you flew off instinctively in the defense of your friend without having all the information- i get it.. i’ve done it.. i’m just saying- how does the situation really change now that you know the source of the comments? how are they less hurtful to your friend you care so much about?

    i had never read mrsfussypants before your post the other day- didn’t know who she was.. and i also had no idea who said the comments, or what was said. in all honesty however, i understand the whole name thing. when i read your post linking to mrsfussy, i was like.. is that “fussy, fussy??” cause it’s you know, pretty much the same name. i think that when we’re online, our online names are our identities, our livelihood sometimes- i would be fucking pissed off if someone else tried to be jennster. cause *ahem* i am the one and only. you know? lol

    Reply
16. Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants (1 comments.) says:

    July 2, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    E, so sorry for all the drama. I’m going offline for a few days. Hopefully everything will calm down. You are a sweet woman and I’m so you are in this position. love ya, a.

    Reply
17. Dana (2 comments.) says:

    July 2, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    “i think that when we’re online, our online names are our identities, our livelihood sometimes- i would be fucking pissed off if someone else tried to be jennster. cause *ahem* i am the one and only. you know?”

    DITTO. And I say this from personal experience.

    I think when goodwill has not been extended publicly by whatever means, people should not expect it in return because this is real life and many women are supporting their families with their websites. It’s become more than just daily missives about life. That’s the BIG POINT people are missing with this.

    Reply
18. momto4kidsny (3 comments.) says:

    July 2, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    E I applaud you for writing this post. However I have to agree with Honeybell. Just because you are really close to one of the parties does not make what that party did right. I checked out all the blogs that were mentioned and I do not see how a third party could be so mean and cruel to a fellow blogger. IMO this person has shown her true colors.
    At any rate that is just my thoughts and I don’t think any less of you or Mrs. Fussypants either! You continue to Rawk the joint!

    Reply
19. Liz (40 comments.) says:

    July 3, 2008 at 2:06 am

    So much drama! Blogging is like high school.

    I don’t know anyone involved and can’t make any judgments, but I hope everyone turns out happy in the end.

    Reply
20. Sorry to be Anonymous says:

    July 3, 2008 at 4:48 am

    Sure, we’re all entitled to express our opinions. But, I’d like to warn those who feel the need to be rude when they need to “express” – be prepared for the backlash and the brutal karma you will richly deserve for causing undue distress and drama, as in this situation.

    The blogger behind Sweetney was the subject of some pretty nasty online attacks in the past few years. Truly horrible insults were made along with ugly slams on this blogger’s character. Worst of all, hostility was directed at her young daughter. One would think that after these events, Sweetney would have the grace and empathy to avoid inflicting a similar pain on others.

    Clearly, you are not the one to apologize, Elizabeth.

    I really wish I did not have to comment anonymously, but A-list bloggers respond poorly to being called on their crap. As another mommyblogger on the scene, I’m really not interested in becoming target practice for their clique.

    Reply
21. Rhonda says:

    July 3, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    The thing about all of this that is interesting to me, as just a stay-at-home mom reader of blogs, is that it really hit home to me from all the comments that these bloggers are in business. Most of the blogs I read claim they originated out of a desire to chronicle their childrens’ lives, a need to overcome the isolation of depression or a pull to belong to a community. And, although that seems to have once been the case, there is a lot of talk of copyright infringement, goodwill, supporting families, etc. that made me realize, “Of course, these people are self-publishing writers, with writer conventions, who respond to readers in order to foster their web presence and who have contests to keep them coming back and to attract advertisers.” I don’t really care if my favourite authors are jerks in their personal lives — most of them are, but I think the idea of a supportive blogging community is part of the fallacy I’m being sold as a reader and maybe it’s time to call a spade a spade and let it go.

    Reply
22. Bouncer (3 comments.) says:

    July 3, 2008 at 8:46 pm

    you truly seem to be a great lady dear..

    I am sure their are many people who love you.

    Reply
23. Nards (1 comments.) says:

    July 5, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    This made me smile – Nards

    Reply
24. JackieW transplanted Okie (Buried in Legos) (3 comments.) says:

    July 5, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    Time for one huge group hug.

    Hope from now on we can agree to disagree agreeably.

    Reply
25. Kathryn (2 comments.) says:

    July 5, 2008 at 10:53 pm

    Kudos to you for reaching out. You did what was in your control. Let your conscious be at peace.

    Reply
26. Liz@thisfullhouse (7 comments.) says:

    July 6, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    Being a woman and a mom – not to mention, a total DORK – I feel it safe to say that it’s not easy to admit…you know…when we are wrong.

    Saying it out loud and on the Internets?

    Well, that just takes a huge set of balls…doesn’t it?

    Either way, the truth can really, really hurt and I can’t help but feel empathy for all parties involved.

    Having suffered from foot-in-mouth-disease nearly my whole life, and all.

    I hope that we can continue to learn from each other (thanks, Elizabeth) and still be able to show mutual respect for each other’s voices – especially, in the mom blogging community – because, unlike my house, there’s plenty of on the Internets!

    Peace.

    Reply
27. Liz@thisfullhouse (7 comments.) says:

    July 6, 2008 at 2:00 pm

    What I meant to say is, “…there’s plenty of ROOM on the Internets!”

    See, told you I was a DORK ;o)

    Reply
28. Carpet Cleaners New York (1 comments.) says:

    July 25, 2008 at 1:54 am

    I really think you are a lovely and interesting lady.

    Reply
29. Neem King (2 comments.) says:

    September 29, 2008 at 4:43 am

    I have to say that the pictures was really sweet and I want to use it as a wallpaper.. He he

    Reply

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