Is it Radical to admit that I love blogging?

While I was at BlogHer, I missed the “Is Mommyblogging a Radical Act?” session partly on purpose because last year I left the session in tears (looong story), and partly because I thought there wasn’t anything anyone could say at that session that I haven’t already heard.

And then I found the session in video form on Lindsey’s blog Suburban Turmoil, and I watched it. And realized that damn, I missed a GOOD session, and I really wish I had been there. I’m listening to women who are Moms and bloggers but not necessarily defining themselves as “Mommybloggers” talk about what exactly “Radical” is, and I’ve come to the conclusion, for myself, that I have NO IDEA what is and isn’t “Radical” about anything that I do online.

You’ve got one blogger who has been interviewed several times and tries to tell the reporters about the Mommyblogging community and how she started blogging to be a part of it (the same reason I started blogging), and that reporters don’t want to hear that, they want her to tell them how Moms can make money blogging, and whether they can make a living at it. You have another blogger who (gasp!) CLOSED her “Mommyblog” and started doing other kinds of online writing, and now has people asking her why she gave up all that great traffic for a blog no one reads (which I’m sure isn’t true because I know that blogger and any writing she is doing is sure to be awesome).

If you are a Mom and you are blogging about being a Mom, are there a pre-conceived set of rules you are “required” to live by? What if you want to write about your sex life or how much you love having drinks with your friends? What if you occasionally smoke pot or take recreational drugs? What if you’ve been in jail or live an alternative lifestyle? What if you think being a Mom is FUCKING HARD AS HELL and there are days where you would honestly prefer to spend your day with your laptop rather than with your precious darling children?

Ooh, “radical”. While I was in Cincinnati, I spent time with Romi from True Mom Confessions, who is just lovely. She sat next to me at dinner on Monday night and we found ourselves in a private conversation about her site, about the kinds of things that Moms confess, and at some point (perhaps after my second Blue Raspberry Martini), I leaned over and said to her something like “I confess. Sometimes I like blogging more than I like being a Mom.”

DOUBLE-GASP. But there are days when I just have so much to do that I wish I lived ALONE or had my own office where I could work steadily from 8-6 and not be interrupted. I just know that if I could get a few days of solid work, I could get completely caught up, and believe me when I say that for me right now, the concept of being completely caught up is not that far off from reaching the mystical state of Nirvana.

My husband is trying very hard to be understanding, he takes the kids on walks and to Home Depot after dinner so I can get a few more hours of work done, he tries so hard to understand, but he also says that I am choosing to have this much work. Which then brings me back to the concept of Radical, because is it Radical to enjoy having this Internet Life?

I LIKE Twittering and Flickering and LinkingIn and BlogCataloging and Facebooking (well, some of Facebook at least), and even though I am not being paid all that much, I think of it as my JOB. But are I not technically a Stay At Home Mom and therefore isn’t THAT my job? And if it is, what exactly is the definition these days of Stay At Home Mom? Should I be making housekeeping schedules and meal plans (well, YES on that one) and clipping coupons and playing The Grocery Game? Am I supposed to be hanging out at local playgrounds eyeballing other Moms with kids the same ages as mine, hoping they won’t think it’s weird if I strike up a conversation?

Or is it okay that I choose to stay inside, shooing my kids out the door to go on walks and play in the backyard sandbox (okay, it’s a sand PIT, whatever), and expecting them to figure out things to do for themselves? I don’t remember my Mom ever having Structured Play Time with me, not even when I was Kaitlyn’s age, which is probably why I was reading Golden Books at age 3 and chapter books by age 5. Is Mommyblogging a Radical Act because we choose to live at least part of our lives virtually, even if we are typing blog posts with one hand while holding sleeping babies? (Read my posts from November 2005, they were typed with just my right hand while a sleeping Kaitlyn lay in my left arm).

The thing I wish the media understood about being a “Mommyblogger” is that for I would guess the majority of us, it is NOT about money and ads. Like someone else on the panel said (click here to watch the video), she might not actively seek out advertisers and payment for posts, but if someone wants to PAY HER TO BLOG, she’ll take it, because she likes money.

Does the very act of accepting advertising or agreeing to review a product have to mean changing the essence of who you are as a writer? There’s no Mad Libs version of blogging, we aren’t using a post template to fill in “Today I _ _ _ and then my child _ _ _, which sucked because then she _ _ _ and I had to _ _ _.” Every single blog is written in a UNIQUE VOICE, and okay, some are more unique than others, Amy, but even when we are writing a review of a website or product, we are putting it into our own words.

I was tremendously guilty last year of being so desperate for money that I was taking every single paid post I could find, and just cranking them out in the most unappealing way possible, and trust me, it pains me to go back and read those posts now, so I completely understand why I lost readers over it, including some that just about broke my heart when they left and never came back.

And today, when I discovered that we have THIRTEEN DOLLARS in our checking account and my husband gets paid in EIGHT DAYS and what the fuck am I supposed to do now, I can’t feed my family for eight days on thirteen dollars, holy crap-I am very, very, very, VERY tempted to contact those pay-you-to-post companies and start taking every single offer I can. Does that make me a Bad Blogger? Is it Radical to admit that I am not above taking $15.00 for a 200 word post if it means I’ll have $15.00 in seven days with which to buy groceries for that night’s dinner?

By the way, if anyone with any connections in PR or advertising is reading this post, and you have immediate funds to spend on word-of-mouth-marketing, please email me at table4five AT gmail DOT com. I can deliver an immediate post in a UNIQUE VOICE.

Ahem. I AM a Mommyblogger, and it’s a community I am very proud to be a part of. On this blog, the very kind and generous advertisers who have purchased text link advertising are in no way influencing what I write. I receive products to review and occasionally am asked to include a website review, but I am never, EVER told what to write. I have emailed PR firms and said hey, wanna give you a head’s up, we did NOT like the product you sent us, and every single time they have replied back and said THAT’S what we want you to say in your review then, we want to KNOW what you, typical suburban housewife, think of that product, good or bad. There seems to be this idea that bloggers who write product reviews have “sold out”, have changed who they are and how they write, have WHORED THEMSELVES OUT for products.

For me, I might be a product whore, but I’m an HONEST product whore. Does THAT make me “Radical”?

Okay, I’ve been writing this post for almost two hours and I think I’ve said everything I set out to say at the beginning. I’m going to go all Linda-Richmond-on-Coffee-Talk on you now and say this-

Mommyblogging As A Radical Act is neither Radical nor an ACT. Discuss.

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