Sunny outside, cloudy inside

It’s a beautiful sunny day today. Blue sky, no wind, even at 27 degrees the sun feels warm. Ryan got Kaitlyn up this morning and kept her entertained so I could sleep in, which I did, until 11:50 am. Then we went to Quality Dairy and got Paczkis for lunch because why not. I’m in no mood to deprive myself of fried balls of jam-filled dough today.

It was a bad weekend. I can’t say a lot about it because I didn’t get the other person’s permission, but suffice it to say, my feelings about pretty much everything I do and have done over the last 20+ years are not as good as I would like. You know that saying “you can’t un-ring a bell”? Well, I can’t un-hear things that were said this weekend, and I’m having trouble figuring out how to proceed.

How do you do it? How is anyone supposed to have personal fulfillment plus have a successful marriage plus be a good parent plus keep up with bills and cleaning and everything else that goes into running a household, without going completely insane?

What do you do when you wish everything was completely different?

Bookmark This Post:

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 16th, 2009 at 2:29 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Comments are moderated. Leave your name or blog name in the comment field; comments left with keywords instead of a name will be deleted.

25 Responses to “Sunny outside, cloudy inside”

1. alison says:

   February 16, 2009 at 2:45 pm

   Just look at those 3 sweet and happy kids you’ve created and know that they are the way they are because you helped raise them. They are good kids, which means you’ve done lots right over the past several years. Hang in there, girl, and feel better soon.
2. Jean-Luc Picard says:

   February 16, 2009 at 3:41 pm

   It’s like juggling a lot of balls….you’ve done well so far.
3. Headless Mom says:

   February 16, 2009 at 5:19 pm

   Wow. That’s pretty heavy stuff, my friend.

   How do you do it? You just do. You do the best you can, with what you have to work with, at that moment in time. Sure we make mistakes along the way, but if you’re doing it in with love then even mistakes usually can’t get too big to handle.

   I don’t know you personal religious views but this always helps me: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.%204:13;&version=51; If I pray and keep Christ in the center of what I do and say, and every decision I make, then I know that it will all be ok in the end.

   I also know that a “situation” doesn’t last forever. What ever it is, it’s bound to change eventually!

   Hang in there! If you want to email me, please do, I’d love to talk if that’s what you need!
4. Headless Mom says:

   February 16, 2009 at 5:21 pm

   Hey, I just left a really long comment on this-did it come through?
5. Anna
   Twitter: bcmom
   says:

   February 16, 2009 at 6:45 pm

   I wish I had some great advice on how to do it all, but I have a hard enough time keeping up with my own stuff – and there are people who do so much more, and seem to do it so much better. I guess we all do the best we can with what we have, and as long as you know you’ve done that, it shouldn’t matter what other people think.

   Anyway, sending you HUGS… I hope things get better!
6. Elizabeth
   Twitter: Table4Five
   says:

   February 16, 2009 at 7:55 pm

   Kendra- Got both of your comments, thank you. Will email you separately.
7. Naomi says:

   February 16, 2009 at 11:00 pm

   Ride it out. I wish I had a better answer. Concentrate on the good things.
8. olivia says:

   February 17, 2009 at 5:54 am

   Housewive is a full time job! You can hire a nurse or call your family to take your children for the weekend sometimes so you can take care of yourself! – olivia
9. French Citizenship says:

   February 17, 2009 at 8:25 am

   Here’s to things getting better!
10. Qtpies7
    Twitter: Qtpies7
    says:

    February 17, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    First, try to remember that everyone views things through different eyes. They don’t have all the facts, they don’t know all the feelings, facts and reasons that you do things. It may make a difference, it may not. But if you would still do things they way you did them, then you need to let their comments fall off your back. You know you were right.
    Sometimes people attack people they love because they are dealing with guilt feelings and the only way to deal with them are to attack and “hate” someone in order to continue with the way they are behaving.

    No matter what, I know it is hard to be in that situation. I’m sorry you are going through it.
11. Alexia says:

    February 17, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Oh gosh, I hate it when people say stuff they shouldn’t. I’m slowly learning how to be happy with who I am, wherever that may be and ignoring people in general if they can’t keep their unwelcome comments/opinions to themselves.

    (((hugs)))

    And I normally handle it by eating, reading, getting lost online or, in extreme cases, looking to God LOL As you can tell, I have my priorities a little turned around and I’m working on going to God first.
12. valmg
    Twitter: valmg
    says:

    February 17, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    This is one of the many reasons I try hard to think before I speak. There’s some things you can’t take back. For example, I love hubby but there have been occasions where he’s said really hurtful things that although I eventually forgave him for I have never ever forgotten or fully gotten over.
13. angie
    Twitter: pricousins
    says:

    February 17, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    Hi!

    I can sympathize with you. I am actually going through it now. It’s hard to put on the plaster smile. Especially after awhile.

    All I can say is have faith. And find someone to lean on!

    Angie
14. Sarah says:

    February 17, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    I totally understand. We are all in the same boat. Its so hard to do everything you want now days. Between, work, kids, and your partner.
15. Lynne says:

    February 18, 2009 at 12:36 am

    Sorry to hear this, and I do know how you feel. I can only suggest taking a day or so for yourself. I know that sounds way easier than it really is, but it’s important to take some time for yourself. Put everything and everyone on the back burner and give yourself some “me” time, you deserve it.
16. Nessa says:

    February 18, 2009 at 10:49 am

    You forgive yourself for not being as perfect as me ::grin::

    JK, but we can only do so much and if you beat yourself up over things you can’t control, it just doesn’t help at all and it will keep you from succeeding in the areas you CAN control. It took me a VERY long time to learn that but i’m glad i finally did.

    Big hugs sweets, hope things get better very soon for you.
17. New home builders says:

    February 18, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    Have another paczki; Paczki Day is next week! When you wish something was different it is one more moment that it won’t be; you have to bring about the change yourself. Sometimes you just have to let it go, I know it’s hard but it will be easier after you do so. Regards!
18. Free Resume Samples says:

    February 18, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    I try not to get myself into situations where I feel that everything I do should be perfect. If I do, then I just start to feel really down and stressed. It just doesn’t cope well with me. I hope that you are able to overcome this obstacle and can get on with a happy life.
19. Laura
    Twitter: soleflormom
    says:

    February 18, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    I wish I could advise you. I’m on the same boat myself…tough times just take a look at one or two of my posts and you’ll find out why. Life is tough…too much tough sometimes.
20. Emily says:

    February 18, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    I’m sending you (((hugs)))) Elizabeth. It sounds incredibly hard and I wish there was something I or we could do to make things easier.
21. Stacy says:

    February 19, 2009 at 2:07 am

    Hey Liz. I have recently been going to FlyLady.com to help me with some issues I have about balancing things. It’s helped me a lot.
22. Elizabeth
    Twitter: Table4Five
    says:

    February 19, 2009 at 9:40 am

    Laura- I’m glad we have each other to lean on sometimes, even if it is only virtually The situation I’m referring to in this post is, unfortunately, very similar to your post about family and couple life. All we can do is our best, right?
23. homemom3
    Twitter: homemom3
    says:

    February 19, 2009 at 11:53 am

    ((((((HUGS)))))) I totally get that, I’m actually going through this as well. Very hard to figure life out when one feels like this. I’d love to offer advice but I really am in the same spot and have no clue what to do either.
24. Randi says:

    February 23, 2009 at 7:17 am

    hey friend,
    no ones lives are perfect, you always have some problem in every life stage, think of some problems you have faced in your past and good the best to solve your future problems
    good luck
25. HIPHOP says:

    February 25, 2009 at 4:45 am

    when mine goes a bad weekend, am just switch too law of attraction. And from time to time I get relaxed. For you been a women its more stressful work. Just see you share your work with others, so that you can have time for yourself. I too do help of my wife in such conditions. But important is to ask for help else man are unknown about the burden you follow… this are so happy going Kids… give my love too..