Attention Deficit Disorder: Inattentiveness- difficulty attending or focusing on a specific task. People with Attention Deficit Disorder may become distracted within a matter of minutes. Inattentive behavior may also cause difficulties with staying organized (e.g. losing things), keeping track of time, completing tasks, and making careless errors.
I found out yesterday that Nathan has a book report due Monday, a report he has known about for a MONTH AND A HALF, a report we never heard about until his teacher made him call me from the classroom to tell me he was going to have to spend the weekend doing the report. I decided to get over to the school before dismissal and wait outside the classroom so I could make sure Nathan had all the materials he needed for the project and also apologize to the teacher for not knowing what was going on.
So all the kids leave and I go into the room, and the teacher comes in and asks Nathan how far along he is in the book he chose to read for the project. Nathan opens the book at the front and starts paging through looking for where he left off, and it’s like page 40. Out of a 220 page book. Crap. Now, this teacher is giving Nathan an extension on the assignment, but without any recess so he could work on the project during that time. But he assumed Nathan had the book read and just needed to write the sections of the report. Yeah, no.
I walked over to the book carousel and picked up the slimmest book there, a paperback with 92 pages. I said, Can he do the report on this book isntead? Yes. Then I found out that he was given a checklist outlining the EIGHT SECTIONS of the report that need to be completed, including four illustrations. A vein in my temple started throbbing. Right, I said. Nathan will go home and read this book and his father and I will help him get as much of the report done as possible by Monday.
We came home, I told Nathan to get a snack, and then to go into his room, close the door, get on his bed, and start reading. I told him he could take a break after the first 30 pages. Much to my surprise, when he came out of his room, he had read 50 pages. This morning when he woke up, he stayed in bed and read another 10, then after a break to watch a DVD with Ryan and Kaitlyn, he finished the book. He and Chris went through the checklist and mapped out a strategy. My concern though is that Nathan will have to transport this project back and forth from school, and he’s not known for his ability to successfully move things from home to school and back.
I hope he knows how lucky he is, having a teacher that gives second chances, having parents that care and are available to help. It’s so hard, not understanding his thought processes, not understanding why he hears “project due in a month” and forgets about it, even though every day the teacher was telling them which step of the project they should be on. I wish I could impress upon him the importance of breaking a large job down into manageable pieces. I don’t know if he’s ever going to be able to overcome this, or if he’ll struggle with it forever.
I love him so much and I hate to see him frustrated, upset, hearing his teacher say “I’m disappointed in this choice you made.” I hate the look on his face when he’s standing there, with the teacher expressing his frustration, and I can see on Nathan’s face that he hates how he feels. I wish I could take it away. I wish his face always looked like this:
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=2b9d0b9e-8c1b-489f-b515-def372fdb05e)
More From table4five
table4five Recommends
- A traveling I did go… (DebMomOf3)
- Modern Manners Monday – Another Child is Asking for My Kid’s Stuff (StacieinAtlanta)
No related posts.
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
It’s so hard, isn’t it? You want to do anything to help your child, but you also know they have to take responsibility for their own actions. Watching them stumble is heartbreaking.
My PDD-NOS daughter is just beginning her journey through school, and I’m already worried about how she will handle schoolwork.
I think you’re amazing for being so involved in Nathan’s education, and I’m sure he will do well because of the guidance you’re providing. It’s hard, but I often think if parenting wasn’t hard, we wouldn’t be doing it right.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Christina- It really is mainly just that he blew off the project. This teacher he has, Bill Cecil, was the Michigan Teacher of the Year a couple of years ago, and he spends the entire year guiding the class step by step through how to break things down, how to plan ahead. Nathan just needs to internalize what he’s hearing and put it to use. Thanks for the nice comment!
Twitter: marybabysteps
says:
I know this feeling all too well, both personally and in my children. Just keep encouraging him and help him to learn skills like keeping a written agenda and to-do list. Read up on ADD and teach him strategies to deal with it. He’ll adapt and can be completely successful. It’s just a struggle. Hugs.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Mary- What’s frustrating is not only did the teacher give them a detailed checklist of each step of the project to bring home, but he showed them how many pages of the book to read each day so they would be ready to start each step with plenty of time to finish. Nathan just completely blew it off. They have an assignment book that I have to initial every day, and nowhere in that book did it say REPORT DUE. He has this whole team of teachers plus his family ready to help him with whatever he needs, but he doesn’t ask for the help! It is a struggle. Thanks so much for the supportive comment!
Twitter: cmooreyondrr
says:
This sounds so familiar. Do you have an IEP (individualized education plan) with the school? If not, I strongly recommend one. This is a legal requirement if the school diagnoses your child as having ADHD/ADD (or other diagnoses as well). The IEP provides accomodations for the child, and can make a HUGE difference in the child’s success. Also, if you are having issues with the school, or if you just want some advice, I recommend hiring a child advocate. This person can help you navigate all the school and legal issues. And finally, I strongly recommend an approach described in a book by Howard Glasser titled Transforming The Difficult Child. This approach is the basis for a subscription website called Energy Parenting that you may want to look into. A colleague and I have established a foundation, Yondrr Foundation, to help with childhood wellness issues (particularly for ADHD/ADD and weight issues in children) and our website is under construction. (watch this space– http://www.yondrr.org)
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Nathan does have an IEP, but because his specific learning disability is Dysgraphia, his IEP gives him extra help with math and any standardized test. There’s a resource teacher assigned to his class who visits him in his classroom every day during math to help.
This project is part of Language Arts, which is usually his best subject. If we had known about the project a month and a half ago when he was supposed to bring home the checklist, he would have had no problem finishing it on time. Thanks for the link to your site and for the book recommendation!
Twitter: kidsbestlife
says:
I have raised my daughter (now 31) and now raising my grandson (age 10) both diagnosed ADD/ADHD and I would agree with Connie. An IEP is a must. Even if he has a wonderful teacher this year, there is no guarantee he will next year or the year after that. In my experience, teachers are not taught to understand ADD, therefore your son will need you to be in there every step of the way monitoring his education. You do not need to be an expert. Read all you can about ADD, and educate yourself as much as possible, and then use your common sense and follow your instincts. No one knows your son like you do! No one understands him life you do! And no one cares as much as you do! The IEP is your game plan and it is backed by federal law! (I actually had to threaten a lawsuit to get my daughters needs met one year and I worked in the school system!)Do not be intimidated by the “experts”…remember YOU pay their salary. If you are not satisfied with what the school offers your son, you are entitled to an independent evaluation paid for by the school district. I don’t mean to sound harsh or forceful..like you need to prepare for battle but the fact is your son needs you to see him through. When my daughter was in the 2nd grade I was told she would never graduate with a regular diploma only a certificate of attendance, that she needed to be medicated, and placed in special classes. I was told that every year by every new teacher she had. I refused to allow them to place her in special classes, she was never medicated and she did graduate on time with her class with a regular diploma! It wasn’t easy but it can be done. One more thing, the most important thing you can remember is that your son cannot help the way he is…but he can learn to compensate for his week areas and learn coping skills to help him succeed…but more than anything his self-esteem must be priority. He must know that he does not have a disability…there is nothing “wrong” with him…he just learns differently and there is nothing wrong with that!I will be sending you Love(never can get enough), Laffs (it’s the best medicine) and Lite (to surround you with the power and love of the creator)!!If I can help in any way let me know!
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Denny- I agree 100% that self esteem is important. No, Nathan can’t help that he has this different wiring in his brain, but he can pay attention in class, write things down, bring home the papers his teacher says need to be posted on the refrigerator. He blew off the project, and he’s lucky his teacher will give him the extension on it. Thanks for your comment!
Twitter: karenmed409
says:
I know the frustration, our guy is soooo unorganized. Notes from teacher to home seem to get forgotten. I had our guy tested and they the therapist recommended he be placed in the shool 504 plan.. man this makes a big difference in him, he has more confidence,able to complete assignments, teachers are able to work with him 1 on 1. Our guy lacks in a lot of social skills, but is very bright, he process information differently than we do.
Twitter: scentednights
says:
Sounds exactly like my son. He’s 12 and has the same thing. We went through this last marking period with his teacher. He does have a 504 plan but that doesn’t mean the teachers always follow it. We are really struggling with getting him to remember his homework & projects. I sometimes wonder if he’ll ever manage to do it.
I didn’t know there are some problems like that. I read the article and become curious about it. I must say that I’m not a father yet but surely this could touch anyone – including me. So it is nice that someone write about those kind of problems.
I think it’s just part and parcel of being a kid! And boys usually pick up slower than girls…..it’ll come eventually. You could help him along by prompting him everyday if there is anything he needs doing
Elizabeth,
You should give yourself a pat on the back. You are so involved in Nathan’s education and he will benefit enormously from all your help. I know you are probably saying any other parent would do the same. Any other parent would want do the same but for some it is just too stressful. You are doing a great job.
Have you tried having your son checked for food allergies? My son wasn’t diagnosed with Adhd but last year at the end of first grade the teacher suggested in not so many words that maybe we need to get him checked for Adhd. After researching and asking our friends and family their opinions we has one friend suggest having him checked for food allergies we took him to the only place in Michigan that does this certain kind of testing and we found out he is allergic to dairy,soy,corn,chicken and chocolate. We have been reducing his intake of these foods as well as giving him 1000mg of fish oil everyday and we have seen some positive results.
You must save this article so when he gets older he will know how lucky she is. I too struggle with a child I had to live with instead of straigh A’s like I was tough with just passing next year she will graduate and I’m so proud i know she did try her best and in some classes she did have to take again but she almost did it and I can almost see the rainbow. I in the other hand had to struggle a lot with this I was asingle parent and we did do homework in the middle of the night alot of times beacuse they do not tell you till the last minute just hang in there you will be fine.
I can understand your feelings but you can help him by encouraging him. Never demotivate him in any situation. Really you are doing great job. It shows how much you are loving nathan.
Twitter: ParentsElite
says:
Just have faith and be persistent. Eventually, it will get better. Are there any techniques you use on daliy basis to enhance his concentration?
Have you ever tried fish oil? Its been known to help with attentiveness, memory, etc.
.-= Jay´s last blog ..Why did Whole Foods ban Krill Oil? =-.