I have published 1,696 posts since September 2005. I’ve written personal posts, sponsored posts, meme posts, question and answer posts, and one post where I was a little drunk. I’ve blogged about myself, my husband, my kids, my parents, my in-laws, celebrities, politicians, and other bloggers. Because of this blog, I’ve had opportunities I could not have dreamed of before I started.
But here’s the thing. Almost every day, I feel like I’m not blogging the right way. Or rather, that my blog has gotten away from me and I don’t know how to get it back.
Every day that I spend online, I find other blogs that look to be way better than this one. I am constantly questioning whether I’m using the right theme, whether my banner needs updating, and that’s just what’s on the surface. I feel hopelessly inadequate about my writing all the time. When I read an outstanding blog post on another blog, I feel like everyone else is just straight up more talented, more funny, more snarky, more insightful, more thought-provoking, and I’m just a monkey banging on a laptop keyboard.
Okay, fine. I don’t really think I’m a monkey. Most of the time.
When I started Table for Five, I blogged about my kids, TV shows, books I was reading, stuff happening in the news. I wasn’t a “brand”, I was just a new blogger trying to figure out how the whole blogging thing worked. The longer my posts got, the more my creative writing training from college kicked in and the more formal my writing got. It was never on purpose, but slowly over the years, I feel like I morphed from “Elizabeth Edwards, Midwestern housewife with three kids battling depression and obesity who can also sometimes be snarky and funny” into “Elizabeth Edwards, owner of a blog that makes her money but causes her stress”.
You wanna know something funny? When I went to the Kraft Foods Delicious Byte Bloggers event in Chicago a few months ago, we were sitting at a table with a marketing lady and she asked us to go around the table and each say something that our readers did not know about us. When it was my turn, I said that very few of my readers knew that in real life, I have one of the foulest mouths imaginable, that I swear like a sailor. Several people at the table reacted in disbelief.
After the round table discussion, Vera Sweeney caught up to me and said “Elizabeth, I just don’t believe it. I do not believe that you swear. Whisper a swear word in my ear.” So I looked at her and said “goddammit Vera, I swear, okay? I fucking swear.”
See? My point is that maybe the reason I feel like I’m doing a crappy job is because I’m not writing the way I would speak if I told you the story in person instead of writing it down. Just buy me a drink at BlogHer sometime and ask me to tell you a story and you’ll see what I mean.
I took a break after that last sentence and while checking email, found a new post from Sheena at Sophistishe called Decluttering The Physical And Virtual. I could have written this part of her post myself:
I’m just tired of the seesaw effect I have with this blog. I haven’t posted anything personal, but I have this campaign due. My blog is full of sponsors. Ah who cares business comes first. Business supports family. I’m not trying to be the “perfect” blogger. I don’t want to post this until I give some kind of a life update. Oh forget it, I’ll blog later. Hiding out is much better. Here comes a follow up and another. Ugh, I better get to my obligations. Maybe I’ll have time to write a personal post. I start it… I don’t finish. It sits in drafts. I fail. Repeat.
That is exactly how I feel, almost all the time. It’s so flattering that companies want to work with me, that PR firms have Table for Five on their lists of bloggers they want to work with, it really is. But I feel like I only have so much time and energy to give, and by the time I write the required stuff, I’ve used up all the words that I could have used for a personal post. If that makes sense.
I really have no idea what to do. Yes, I can work on improving my writing, on remembering to stop and write down my thoughts on stuff, to save some energy for funny and snarky and oh yes, AMERICAN IDOL RECAPS. But what I can’t do is change the fact that there will ALWAYS be better blogs than mine. And I may never find that perfect balance between “being real” and well, to be honest, “getting paid”.
If you made it all the way to here, thanks for reading this rather long and rambling post. Heck, thanks for READING. It means more than you know that I still have readers after all these years.
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Twitter: tanyetta
says:
Great Post Elizabeth! I am here to STAY!
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Thank you so much, Tanyetta. I hope we get to meet some day!!
Twitter: 1stopmom
says:
I am a big fan of yours. I like your writing style too. I can totally understand what you are saying though. I have been feeling like that a lot lately myself. I look around at many of the bloggers I consider friends and I am so happy for the progress they have made in the blogging community. Especially how much their blogging has evolved. Then I look at me and feel like I have not moved anywhere
I am still trying to figure out what I want.
1stopmom recently posted..Robyn’s Giving Away an iPad!!
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Thanks Tricia! Isn’t it a weird feeling? I mean, you’ve been blogging almost four years (I checked your archives LOL) and you feel like I do, like you still haven’t figured it out. Maybe we should team up on a project or something!
Twitter: Half_past_crazy
says:
Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself! You are the one who inspired me to start my own blog! I’ve been following you for 4 months, (I know that’s not very long, but I’ve only known about blogs for that long) And I started my blog after reading a few of your posts back in November. I know what you mean though, when you read an awesome post on someones blog and catch a bit of the old blogger envy… like, “why can’t I write posts like that?”. But you’re great! I always enjoy reading what you write, and I love your pictures too. Keep up the good work.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
Are you serious?? *I* inspired you to start a blog?? I can’t tell you how much that means to me! I’ll stop by and say hello
Twitter: Neilochka
says:
Better blogs? That statement is rather meaningless. What does it mean? Do you only read blogs that are good? When I look over my google reader, the blogs I mostly pay attention to are a hodgepodge of people gathered over nearly six years of blogging. Yes, there are some “great writers,” but more often than that, they are people I have connected with for one reason or another — a commenter, someone on Twitter, a friend of a friend of a friend, mombloggers, people I have never met once, a professor and a truck driver. Granted, I hear what you are saying about your own blog. I have noticed that as bloggers get more connected with brands and business, their blog becomes less personal… and less interesting. I just applied for advertising myself and I am already worried about that. I once went to a film festival sponsored by Buick, and when I sat down to write my blog post about the event, my mind went blank for days. What am I supposed to say about the free car I received for a week? It was a great car, alright, but what else is there to say? “Nice car.”
So I get what you are saying. I’m sure if you let some of that sailor cursing you come out, you would instantly have a better blog.
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
I have hundreds of blogs in my google reader, but the ones that I check regularly? Dooce, Amalah, The Bloggess, Avitable, and YOURS. In fact I have Citizen of the Month in a widget on iGoogle. As far as blogs I admire, I set that bar pretty high
And since I used a couple of good swear words in this post and no one gasped in shock, I’m thinking I might not come off as mild-mannered as I thought I did.
Twitter: sheenatatum
says:
I totally agree with you about writing how you talk. I am trying to do more of that because my stories flow better and I come off as a real person and get more of a reaction from my readers when doing so. My mouth is not the cleanest and I limit the cussin on my blog because I have some really big brand partnerships and I’m sure at least one up them might raise an eyebrow if I dropped the F bomb on my blog. And I dunno, sometimes I kinda care what people think about me. Like if I cussed up a storm on my blog, they might think I’m some badass chick in real life when I’m really an introverted, sometimes bubbly gal that you wanna hug
.
So anyway, take some time a reevaluate things. Clear out your obligations if you have to and don’t take on any more while doing so. And focus on bigger and better opportunities. Whenever you have an Aha Moment, start writing! Push yourself and stay true to yourself as much as possible. You’ll be amazed at how many comments you get when writing something worth reading if that makes sense. Love ya!
Sheena recently posted..Decluttering The Physical And Virtual
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
You inspired me to write this post Sheena, so thanks!! And yes, you definitely are a bubbly gal I wanna hug, and maybe just a *little* badass chick, too
Like I commented above to Neil, I used a couple of curse words in this post and no one has freaked out about it, so it might not be as surprising as I thought. And I feel like brands should realize that we are real people who sometimes curse when we feel strongly about something, you know? We aren’t robots who just push out perfect posts. Thanks for the great support and love ya right back!
Twitter: sheenatatum
says:
I’m glad to have inspired you. I guess I’ve done something right, huh?
LOL @ Vera wanting you to whisper naughty nothings in her ear!
Sheena recently posted..Decluttering The Physical And Virtual
Twitter: sheenatatum
says:
one of them*
Sheena recently posted..Decluttering The Physical And Virtual
Sometimes, a writer’s voice, or the ‘persona’ is different from the writer herself. You don’t have to feel bad about it; in some cases, it works. But if you feel the need to ‘align’ your writing voice with your personality, then by all means, go for it.
Mike recently posted..High Attrition Hampers PH BPO Growth
Actually Its a Good sign that you consider yourself wrong even after writing 1500+ posts.It is this attitude that will help you keep learning new things.I know many newbie blogger’s who develop this know-it-all attitude very fast and it ultimately results in their downfall.
Jonathan Mandoza recently posted..Phone Number Finder-Search Name and Find Address
Twitter: Table4Five
says:
That’s a really good point, Jonathan. I read blogs that have been around since blogs were invented, and they certainly don’t come off as “knowing it all”. There’s always more to learn!
Twitter: mysweethome
says:
Hi Elizabeth. I think almost everyone that cares about their blog feels like you do at one point or another. You just have to be yourself and do what works for you and don’t use other blogs as a measuring stick. I know that’s easier said than done. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Every time I see a great blog I always belittle my own. But that’s not the way to do it. You have a great blog. Just look at how far you have come! Celebrate your success and make a plan to build on those or anything else you would like. A blog is always evolving. Don’t give up!
Margaret recently posted..Spice Things Up This Valentines Day With EdenFantasys – Giveaway
Twitter: blogfully
says:
Great reply Margaret–I feel the same way. I tend to belittle myself to the point where I get writer’s block or basic nothingness because I don’t think I could do it as good as another.
I just love your advice.
barbarabaker recently posted..Giveaway- MR Beams Anywhere Light 40 Value
Twitter: blogfully
says:
Elizabeth–I couldn’t have written this post any better if I tried…and I read Sheena’s post too (it was a great one). Oh, and I remember you saying that in Chicago (LOL)…It was cute and I felt a feeling of relief after you said it because I’m just as bad (Haha).
I think that, as bloggers, we try to keep it (for a lack of better words)…Prim and proper. I mean, I curse, I drink (on occasions, but I loose all inhabitions when I do–so my husband keeps an eye on me while in public) and a lot of other things, but I’m afraid to really write the way that I would speak because, as my husband says–it’s different. When you speak (curse) in person, the words fade away with the conversation, but when you ‘write’ your curse words–they’re there forever. I agree with him, but I still wish I could let even a little bit of the ‘real me’ come out. Maybe not–I’m pretty bad, LOL.
I think you’re doing a marvelous job and I wish I could be where you are in Blogging. In person, you are so outgoing, so funny and definitely a hoot to be around. I hope to be where you are (and with the contacts you know (wink-wink) some day soon because honestly–I feel like I’m doing it ‘wrong’ too.
PS- Sorry for the ‘wordy’ comment…it was a great post and I couldn’t help myself
barbarabaker recently posted..Giveaway- MR Beams Anywhere Light 40 Value
Twitter: hrbeck
says:
Elizabeth, my opinion may not count for much because I do not blog, but a lot of blogs cross my mailbox every day and very few of them get read on a daily basis and yours is one of them. Why? Because you seem so human, so real, so approachable, and you’re the kind of person I’d want to be friends with in real life, not some unreachable blog goddess on a pedestal who’s only in it for the money. I hope you don’t change anything about yourself while you tinker with your blog!
Thanks for this post. I think it’s great to see someone being so honest about their blog and what they think they are doing right, and perhaps not doing right. I personally think you should just be true to yourself and not focus on others. I know it’s difficult because there are so many sites to see and admire, but just try and focus on you and you will do the best work. Keep it up, you’re doing just fine!
Twitter: simplyandreah
says:
I often feel the same way, as though my blog isn’t a very good reflection of myself. I never curse on my blog but I do in real life if I feel strongly about something (or stub my toe). LOL I have thought about starting a second more personal (no reviews) blog but who has the time? Anyway, great post and keep on blogging!
Twitter: farbrornabil
says:
Don’t you dare stop blogging, woman!
Nabil recently posted..10 saker att leta efter när du väljer webbhotell
Hi Elizabeth,
Those of us who are new at blogging would certainly say you are amazing at what you do!!! I have no idea how to do most of the “stuff” in blogs..badges, feeds, twitter, connections…yikes!! …and I can see already how it is a bit stressful having the need to post, even though it really is a want, not a need. Anyway, stay positive and sassy:)
Diane
http://www.childhoodmyths.blogspot.com
Twitter: Idea_Apps_Inc
says:
I came across your blog for the first time and you remind e of myself! In fact so much I continued to read and read! I just started a website a few months ago and I constantly feel like everyone else knows something I don’t know, other websites look a lot better and why didn’t I say that!!?
In short you are way to critical of yourself as I found your blog delightful and it looked just as nice as all the other blogs I have come across! It is a good point to blog like you would talk! It shows your personality and spunk!!
Twitter: Kelliebug
says:
I subscribe by email to so many blogs, but hardly read most of them. I ALWAYS read yours….Your posts feel very real, and you seem like someone that is down to earth and someone I’d like in real life.
My blog isn’t ME enough either…I like to be sarcastic, love pop culture, yes…even swearing lol! I am afraid to offend people, so I keep my blog so generic and never say any strong opinions I have. Lame, right?
Maybe one day I’ll change that…this post may just help me get there!
Kellie recently posted..BabyBond Nursing Accessories – Cover Mom Not Baby!
I’m with everyone else that’s posted here…..don’t sell yourself short–you are great at what you do!!! Your post always sound ‘for real’ and I imagine that’s how most of us want them to be…
I’m guessing that a lot of people go to blogs only for the giveaways that are available—and I will be the first one to admit that that is how I came to even discover blogging, but after awhile you really do want to get to “know” the person behind the writing and you truly do enjoy what they have to say and how they say it. I am a computer dummy when it comes to things like facebook and twitter and I don’t do either-so right there I don’t stand a chance on many giveaways, yet I continue to come back here to read your posts because I enjoy-and truly appreciate the time you put into the reviews and posts.
Just remember-you are human , and like the rest of us you only have 24 hours in your day—-take time to enjoy them!! and yeh—–go ahead and cut loose at times and just be yourself~~~~~~those of us who want to be here will continue to do so!!
You can look to your writings like a hobby, It is very good being so honest about yours blogs. Usually aI can agree with you. May be it help you and other people keep learning new things.
Hello Elizabeth..
Hope you are doing great…
I have a number of clients that are interested in working with your site. If you could please get in touch with me at: reanact(at)gmail(dot)com – I would love to discuss possible advertising and sponsored post options with you.
Kind regards,
Claire
claire recently posted..Lee Chong Wei In Finals Malaysia Open Super Series 2011
you have a very good writing skills so why worry?
Twitter: busymom
says:
You have the water treatment systems seal of approval, I think that says it all
Busy Mom recently posted..Blue light special
Twitter: Lakeside Chatter
says:
I just found your blog from the Blog Catalog that I recently joined. After reading this post may I just say I LOVE YOU!! I totally relate and understand the whole comparing yourself to other bloggers. I am just now in the process of getting my blog up and running and I too go back and fourth on everything. Thanks so much for sharing you thoughts because now I know I am not alone. I look forward to reading more of your posts and will definitely be adding this to my favorites. Oh, and the fact that you swear makes me like you even more. Please keep up all the great writing. It inspires me.
Mary
http://www.lakesidechatter.com
I think you underestimated yourself. You made more than a thousand blog posts and the way you’ve written this article is well-read, creative and with a nice flow. How can you say, your doing it wrong?
I have read so many blogger post and always looking something new but after reading your blog i found something new. you have too much strength to reach such a big milestone. The way you have written is absolutely amazing. I want to be your big fan
So who is to say what is wrong or right when you blog. Isn’t the whole point to just communicate? This post struck me because my wife tends to think that she is never good enough either even though she is excellent at what she does.
Just keep up the good work, and don’t worry so much if you are doing it wrong.
Twitter: moonnbackblog
says:
i happened to stumple upon this post – via your blog that i’ve contracted through douglas cuddle toys for a review
– and i have to say that it’s great!
i also have a little personal blog – no sponsors, no obligation to anyone but myself.
i write what a feel, sailor mouth and all.
case in point: a blog this week called, “fucking a.” (http://tothemoonnback.net/?p=1377)
but sometimes i want to venture out of the personal blog and into one with revenue options…
guess the grass is always greener…and you’re doing a great job. you can do a great job and throw in an “asshole” or “mothereffer” once and a while
- hannah
Every time I see a great blog I always wanted to have one of my own. But I may try it out one day. You have a great blog.
Jim Beale recently posted..Using an Auto Scrubber