Six and a half years, that’s how long I’ve had this blog. When I started it I was pregnant with Kaitlyn, on bedrest, and thrilled to have found “Mommy blogs”. I had an excellent Creative Writing teacher in High School and spent almost my entire four years of college writing paper after paper. Writing came naturally to me,
When I became a SAHM, I tried all kinds of creative outlets, from quilting to scrapbooking, but nothing gave me any kind of satisfaction until I discovered blogging.
At first, my blog posts were very personal. I wrote about my pregnancy, what was happening in politics, what I thought of my favorite TV shows. It never occurred to me in those early years to dig any deeper or to write about what my life had really been like up to that point. All the other Mom blogs I read had these great posts about motherhood, everyone’s kids seemed to do these hilarious things all the time, and I just wanted my blog to fit in.
But now, six and a half years later, I feel this tug in my soul telling me that it’s time to use my writing skills and my blog to tell a deeper story. See, I’ve had this life that I haven’t tried to hide on purpose, it’s just never seemed like the right time to talk about it. From my birth to my adoption, my childhood, teen years and college years, there are stories in those years that I just feel like I need to tell now.
I’m going to be writing the TRUTH about where I’ve been, the things I’ve done. I highly doubt anyone who has ever met me IRL would have any idea of what I have had to overcome, not to mention the seriously dumb and sometimes dangerous situations I’ve put myself in. I was a victim of what I think of as “inappropriate touching” by a family member, I lived with a sister who hated me and parents who wanted kids for the image, not for the love, I spent years drinking myself practically unconscious, I left my first college after two years because I had basically disgraced myself – and that’s just the first things that come to mind.
I’ve been trying to decide if I need a name for this new series of posts, and I’ve thought of one – The Girl With Three Names. You’ll have to read to understand, but it’s the best way I can think of to explain everything in just a few words. I have no idea what it’s going to feel like to finally get it all written down. I’m scared of feeling the feelings again as I try to put them into words and get them written down, but I guess I’m also hoping for some kind of catharsis.
Comments will always be welcome. You can also email me any time if you want to have a private conversation. Maybe I’ll find out that my life isn’t so unusual or shocking after all. Or maybe everyone will start talking on Facebook about Table for Five’s messed up life
Speaking of Facebook, I’m also putting back the Facebook comments plugin. If you are already logged in to your Facebook account, you can leave a comment on posts without having to re-type your name, email and URL. I hope that makes it easier for you, but let me know if it gives you any problems.
Alrighty then. I have a giveaway to start for Kraft Foods, Wordless Wednesday tomorrow, and Friday Fives to get planned out, so back to work. Thanks everybody who replied so quickly on Facebook when I asked for advice about how to do this! I can’t tell you how much it means to me to know I do have a “community” after all