I just found a Google Doc I created last year that I titled Notes For BlogHer 2011, and despite having gone to five previous conferences, I still find myself scrambling to get myself ready every year.  Every year, starting the weekend before, I start amping up the anxiety and stress and moments of panic. OMG MY BUSINESS CARDS SUCK and SHOULD I BRING MY LAPTOP? and WHAT THE HECK SHOULD I WEAR? and so on and so forth.

So here are the five items I put in my Notes For BlogHer 2011, exactly as I wrote them, in bold, with comments in italics. Please to enjoy.

1. You MUST have a way to access email and twitter. Do NOT take your laptop. You will not use it.  I’ve been going back and forth on the laptop issue. Without it, I have no way to dump my camera card if it fills up. My Xoom Tablet does take pretty good photos, even if I’ll feel ridiculous holding up a ten-inch slab and yelling “say cheese” at groups of people. However, since the Tablet was shipped before the SD CARD SLOT WAS READY, I have no way to SHARE the photos I take with it. GAH.
2. You MUST leave a kick-ass post up before you leave. Last year you got a huge burst of traffic the Friday of BlogHer and the post those new readers saw was just sort of okay.  I know I should get a post ready to publish on Friday, but if it’s something like “hey, I’m at BlogHer!”, I’ll have no way to add pictures to it, see above re: the camera issue. I suppose I could just do a “Welcome to Table for Five, here’s more about me and my family” kind of post, but only if you all help me think of a BETTER TITLE than “Welcome to Table for Five”, because that just makes me want to roll my eyes at myself.
3. You MUST get a business card holder that has a loop to go around your wrist. I remember this from last year, constantly taking my business card holder out of my bag then putting it back in, only to “lose” it under a pile of swag and have to frantically fish around while a polite PR rep waited. I saw someone else with a card holder that looped around their wrist and knew that’s what I needed for this year. Have I bought one yet? ARE YOU SERIOUS? HAVE YOU MET ME?
4. Do NOT take any extra tote bags, unless the conference is declared swag free which is unlikely. The swag issue got so out of hand at last year’s BlogHer that there was buzz by the last day that maybe this year the conference organizers would just declare the conference swag free. Yeah, that didn’t happen.  At registration, there’s an official BlogHer swag bag of some kind, and in the expo hall, brands giving out big stuff usually have bags of some kind for you to put it in.  You’d also think after five BlogHers that I would have figured out for myself to use a BACKPACK while visiting the expo hall, but instead I have Tanya from MommyGoggles to thank for that
5. Put more thought into your clothes. A LOT more thought. After 5:00 it is COCKTAIL OUTFITS, dresses if possible. Yeah, this one ain’t gonna happen. As usual, Chris and I are living on the tightest budget ever in our 26 years together, so I had no money for anything new. I know that no one really cares what anyone else is wearing anyway, not once in five conferences have I ever heard or read “can you believe what so and so was WEARING?”.  However, for those of you reading this who are going to BlogHer and are wondering about clothes, the truth is this – wear whatever you want, unless you are going to a specific event with a dress code. Otherwise, really, whatever you want.