Just about 20 minutes ago, we were sitting at the kitchen table finishing up dinner, and I was leafing through Woman’s World magazine. I found a recipe for chocolate cake that claimed it was “healthier” because it was made with chocolate soy milk and whole wheat flour, even though it had over 500 calories and 30 grams of fat per PIECE. So I read that out loud to everybody:

Me: “it claims to be healthy because it’s made with soy milk and whole wheat flour.”

And Nathan said: “And a WHOLE LOT OF GOD!”

Me: “WHAT???”

Nathan: “You said it was made with HOLY FLOUR!”

People, I swear that was a direct quote. I can’t make this stuff up.

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Yesterday, Kaitlyn, Nathan and I were watching an episode of “Little Einsteins” in which the kids were walking through this forest dropping music notes, found a gingerbread house, there was a witch, just like Hansel & Gretel, etc. I was only half-listening but I think one of the kids said something like “we’re trapped, we’ll have to eat our way out”. Kaitlyn says…

“I wish you would trap Nathan and me inside McDonald’s.”

Trust me kid, there are days that I’m tempted to do just that (KIDDING!)(Sort of, keep reading)
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On our way to the grocery store today, I was reciting the list of things I needed to buy over and over so I wouldn’t forget them. “Hamburger, hamburger buns, frozen fries, milk. Hamburger, buns, fries, milk.” I probably said it four or five times in the two minutes it takes to drive from our house to the store. As I was unbuckling her from the carseat, I said it one more time. “Hamburger, buns, fries, milk.” And she said…

“That’s right, we need FOUR things.”

This child is three years old, and she had counted the number of things in the list. Even if this is a skill that three year olds should have, it still blows my mind that she can do it. She counted the mirrors on the wall while we were waiting for our sandwiches to be made at Blimpie’s last week, too.
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I’ll spare you the details of the countless number of temper tantrums she’s had over the last few weeks though, it’s not all fun and games. She’s got a cough, which I suspect is just post-nasal drip (which, ewww), and according to our pediatrician, the amount of medicine in over-the-counter children’s cough medicine is not enough to actually do anything, so he doesn’t recommend using it. He suggests giving her lots to drink and calling him if she starts coughing up…stuff.

So okay, she doesn’t feel well, and I understand that not feeling well makes a person feel grouchy. But this child has become the Queen of Whinyville. And if she asks for something and the answer is No, well, you’d better duck and cover because she’s going to FREAK OUT. The other day I was trying to get her to do something simple, I think it was just pick up a toy or something, and she was yelling AAAAHHHHH in between each of my words. It was like this:

“Kaitlyn, pick up your…” “AAAHHHHH”
“Quit your yelling. Pick…”
“AAAHHHH”
“Up”
“AAAHHHHHH”
“Your”
“AAAHHHHHHH”

At that point, I gave myself a time out. I made sure all the deadbolts were locked on the doors, turned on the TV, and went into my room. It’s pointless to try to reason with a tantrum-throwing toddler. She’s just lucky she’s so darn cute.