Me 3.0 – Now With Triple The Effexor

depressionBlue

Back in March I wrote about my ongoing struggle to manage my chronic depression and anxiety and how my doctor prescribed 37.5 mg. a day of Venlafaxine, the generic form of Effexor. 37.5 mg. is the lowest dosage, and for a while, it was enough.  Since I was first diagnosed with chronic depression in my 20s, my depression has always been seasonal. I needed medication from around October until around May and skip it in the summer.   Well, this past summer showed me that my depression is no longer seasonal.  Things were so bad this summer that I couldn't even blog about it, because I was just trying to get from one day to the next.  I was a mess. I couldn't sleep more than a few hours a night, which I know didn't help.  I was just angry, all the time, about everything.  The slightest thing could set me off, I was yelling, and constantly bursting into tears.  And it took me WAY too long to ask my doctor for help. It never even occurred to me that the problem was not … [Read more...]

Struggling.

Effexor

It used to be that when I saw a character in a TV show having a meltdown and it turned out that it was because they weren't taking the medication they needed,  I would think to myself "jeez, how hard is it to take a pill every day?"  Hypocrite, thy name is Elizabeth. I certainly don't wake up in the morning and decide that I just won't take my medication. The bottle sits on the kitchen counter in plain sight. But since we went down to one car, the days that I do have the car are spent running around trying to get errands done that can't be done on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I'm house-bound. For newer readers, back in February of 2007 I had three moderately severe anxiety attacks. My doctor changed my antidepressant to the generic form of the  antidepressant/antianxiety medication Effexor.  If I take it every day, the fog I would walk around in otherwise lifts, and I can participate in and enjoy life.  Problem is, I get to a point where I've been feeling good for a while so … [Read more...]

Got my head shrunk. Felt weird.

Me1stGrade3

As part of the pre-Optifast testing I went through, I had an hour and a half consult with a behaviorist named Richard. I forgot to ask him if he was a psychiatrist or a psychologist, googling the word behaviorist made it seem like it could be either. Before the appointment I filled out a 12-question questionnaire, so he had that, plus the 15 other pages I filled out about my perssonal, medical, fitness, and weight loss history. The questions I answered were about my mood over the seven days previous, and I had to say whether they had been less likely, more likely, or extremely likely to occur. Questions like "I felt irritated at my family and friends", "I felt hopeless", "I found myself getting angry easily". Of the 12 questions, I answered that four of them had been "extremely likely" to occur. I don't even remember which four, although I'm happy to say I answered "less likely" to the feeling hopeless one. What amazed me is that from my answers to those questions plus a couple … [Read more...]