I want to be like everyone else. Or at least, I want to be the way I THINK everyone else is. I want to be someone that other people want to be around. I want people to be excited at the prospect of meeting me, of spending time with me. I want to be invited, included. I was okay right up through college. I had great friends in high school, we did everything together. College was a little trickier for me, but I got invited places, friends wanted to hang out with me. I didn't realize I had a problem until I hit my mid-20s and went to work at an office for the first time. Everyone was nice to me, always, but no one, and I mean NO ONE, ever invited me out to lunch. Or for after work drinks. Sure, they would chat with me in the elevator or at my desk occasionally, everyone knew about my pregnancies, about buying my first house. But no one asked me to go on lunchtime walks or hit the mall after work for new shoes. It bugged me, a lot. I tried to reach out, make … [Read more...]