So…hi. I’m still here, but I’m like a bear coming out of hibernation. I know there’s a world out there, it’s just taking me a while to reacclimate myself to it. Last year was harder on me than I realized, especially where this poor blog was concerned. I couldn’t blog the problems Chris and I were having as they were happening because the feelings were so raw, I was afraid I would post something hurtful while angry and make things worse.
The good news is, 2012 became the year that we DIDN’T get divorced, and the beginning of 2013 was when we began to heal. We are closer than ever, more in love than ever, which doesn’t even seem possible considering we’ve been together since 1985 – that’s 28 years this summer.
Getting ourselves through last year required us both to be more honest than ever, admitting more mistakes than ever, apologizing and hugging and crying our way through. To say that I feel lucky to have him is such an understatement. My mind still boggles over how many different events had to occur for us to even meet that first time, let alone end up falling in love and realizing we were soulmates.
Cheesy, I know, but when you’ve bared the very bottom of your soul to someone and they still love you anyway, what else can you call it?
Besides being completely in love, I’m also happy to report that my kids are being terrific. Well, mostly, Kaitlyn is 7 and still prone to tantrums, but then she makes up for it by doing things like what I just shared on Facebook:
Kaitlyn brought me a sealed envelope with Mom on it, and a “stamp” drawn in the corner (squiggly oval with a heart inside). She had a clipboard with a piece of paper that said “Sign Here – Full Names Please” and then lines for our signatures. Then I opened the envelope and read her letter to me. I have the BEST KID IN THE WORLD.
It says “Dear Mom, You make me smile real big. I like your hair short. I like you just the way you are. Love, Kaitlyn.
I was overcome when I read it. I hugged her tight and told her that her letter made my heart feel super happy. She said, “did it get bigger?” And I said of course. At least three times bigger Her letter to Chris thanked him for playing games with her and for letting her cuddle on his lap, which makes her feel “extra warm and cozy”.
Ryan is…Ryan. He’s just a chill 16 year old guy. He helps out around the house and with Kaitlyn, gets straight As at school, continues to be best friends with Nathan – you should hear them. They talktalktalktalk all day and night long to each other. They are 26 months apart but you’d think they were twins the way they get along. Half the time they are talking about the web comic they both read (Homestuck, more on that in a minute) or the online game they both play, and I have no idea what they are even saying! Here’s Ryan helping Kaitlyn dye Easter eggs:
Nathan is 14 now, starting to grow a beard – because OF COURSE HE IS, every male in my house must have as much facial hair as possible apparently – and is becoming a really cool dude. He went by himself to the Lansing Center for Shuto Con, our annual anime convention, and spent two days hanging out with kids he met on Tumblr. He came home riding that same high that I have when I get back from BlogHer, that exuberance over being with one’s Tribe, being understand and accepted.
Plus a girl let him smooch her on the cheek
So that’s what’s going on here. How are all of you? I promise I’ll be better about visiting and commenting, because I want my regular readers to think of me as a friend, I mean it. I’m here for you, if you’re here for me, simple as that. Thanks for stopping by everybody!!