One of the honored guests at the Virtual Baby Shower that I participated in, Mrs. Chicken, just wrote a post about how exhausted she is with this second pregnancy, how some days she feels disconnected, wonders what the heck she got herself into. I was reading through her comments and then started leaving one of my own, only it got so long that I came here to turn it into a blog post instead.
Ryan was 17 months old when I got pregnant with Nathan. I was working full-time at the Credit Union, we had a terrific caregiver who’s house was across the street and five houses down from ours, and Chris was working for a company whose offices were less than a mile from our house.
On a beautiful Spring weekend in April, 1998, Chris, Ryan and I participated in a 5K walk for the March of Dimes. We got home and Ryan went down for a nap, and I stretched out on the couch. And slept for four hours. When I woke up I said to Chris, “wow, I don’t feel good. My stomach feels queasy.”
Dun dun DUN. I made a doctor appointment, peed into a cup, and sure enough. But here’s what’s weird-I have almost no specific memories of being pregnant with Nathan. I see photos from that time with my belly round and I just get no memory sense at all. I know it was a relatively good pregnancy, no high blood pressure or diabetes, no bedrest. In fact, I went into labor naturally, which I hadn’t even done with Ryan.
But why can’t I remember? I can’t nod my head along with Mrs. Chicken and say “oh yes, I remember that feeling”, or “no, that didn’t happen to me” because I just don’t remember it. I was growing a person inside my body, you’d think I would have some memories of that. I do remember that labor started on Sunday, December 20th at Chris’ Aunt and Uncle’s Christmas party, and that I kept feeling my belly tighten. I also played the piano while everyone sang Christmas Carols, and can I just say that oh my GAH, what was I thinking with this hairdo:
(I’m the one in the middle with the curling iron curls on the top of my head. And the festive red nails, which went with me to the hospital and were red for a long time because I was too tired to remember to take the polish off. On my left is Chris’ Mother, on my right, his Aunt). The HAIR.